A humble two year old

We have an advent calendar the girls enjoy using at Christmastime.  It's the same calendar I used as a little girl.  The tradition is to fill each of the little pockets with York Peppermint Patties.  Each day of December before Christmas, the little mouse gets moved to a new pocket, and the peppermint pattie is split between participating siblings.  Anny actually remembered the calendar this year.  She had a fun time filling each of the pockets with peppermint patties as we got out our decorations, and had a bit of a tearful moment when one bag of mints only filled 22 of the pockets.  Thankfully she has an experienced mother, who plans ahead for these things.  I showed her the second bag I had bought, and she smiled, wiped the tears off her cheeks, and finished filling the pockets.  The extra mints lasted just a couple tasty days in our candy dish. 

Anny looks forward to her daily special duty of taking out the mint, splitting it with her sister, and moving the mouse into his new pocket.  Merrylee of course looks forward to this too, and doesn't seem to notice when her half of the mint is somehow a bit smaller than her sisters. 

This afternoon I was busy procrastinating some much needed house cleaning (still am as I write this post!) and doing some last minute online shopping.  Merrylee had dragged a stool into the pantry, and was trying to find herself a snack.  After refusing her various requests for christmas tree cakes and cookies, I finally just told her to stay out of the pantry.  A few minutes passed, and it got a little too quiet in the kitchen- usually a time when the "mommy sensors" go off.  I called for Merrylee, and recieved no response.  I got up to see what she was up to, and found her sitting at the kitchen table, taking a bite out of a peppermint pattie she had snuck out of the advent calendar.  She immediately looked up at me with a very guilty face.  Obviously no "she's too little to understand" excuse could be applied.  I told her "no" and reminded her those were special candies for our calendar.  She made a very humble and sad face, and looked at her toes.  A little hand containing the half eaten mint was rasied up towards me as she softly replied, "here Mama.  I don't want it anymore."

My heart melted, and not not wanting to ruin a perfect parenting moment, instead of smothering her with the huge snuggle I instantly craved, I took the candy, and wiped the chocolate off her fingers. 

I think we'll keep her. 

Anny of course wandered into the kitchen to see what was going on.  When I explained what had happened, Anny looked at Merrylee shocked and said incredulously, "How did she open it?!!" 

Anny has a bit of trouble opening candies, and even resorts to scissors on occasion.  I responded simply that Merrylee doesn't seem to have those same challenges.

Here's a photo of the little sweetheart, expressing the latest fashions for toddlers.  Looking at that little face, I wonder how we manage any sort of discipline at all.

Daughters in the Wilderness

When I am at my worst, I find strength through reading the scriptures.  I feel stronger at the core, and similar to the sensation of Tylenol after a fever, that strength spreads to the rest of me, and things seem easier.  Much of this is because spiritual feelings affect us physically.  Physically one can feel lighter, less lonely, and peaceful after reading the words of God and his prophets.

It is also no secret that blessings come from study and learning.  While studying biology, a better understanding of life is gained, as well as an appreciation for the world, it's beauty, creation, and our place in it's vast existence.  The mind is opened as the function of organisms is broken down to a cellular level.  Wonderment of the intricacy of a tiny plant, and all that goes on for it to survive, broadens how we view everything else.  New knowledge changes us, and how we think. 

The same phenomenon occurs through studying and searching the scriptures.  We gain a clearer understanding of God, and his will for us.  The scriptures provide examples of people who had trials, sorrow, and pain of their own.  Some of these people through their trials turned cold, bitter, and set a legacy of hatred, killing, and ignorance for generations of posterity.  Others faithfully and steadfastly turned to God throughout their trials.  They were hungry, and prayed for where to find food.  In danger from enemies, they prayed for where to flee to safety, or how to fight and save their families and freedom.  They made boats, crossed oceans and vast wildernesses, started new civilizations, created new governments, and built temples.

I study the scriptures, and feel physical blessings from the spiritual connection I feel with God.  I also feel the knowledge from the scriptures change how I think.  Compassion replaces frustration, as I think on experiences with my children during the day.  Patience replaces weariness when I look at the examples of other steadfast saints, with trials much greater than mine.

Such was the case as I stumbled upon a poster online, of a group of women who knew real trials, much greater than what I've had to bear.

Ancient prophet, Lehi, was warned by God of the impending destruction of his home city, Jerusalem.  God told him to take his family, and flee into the wilderness.  Lehi was a wealthy man, and years of travel without what were his "modern conveniences" that came with city living, I imagine was no small difficulty.  However he unquestioningly heeded God's warning.  His family left, and had a long and difficult journey.  That family included Lehi's sons and their families.  Children were conceived and born on that trek, yet they carried on.  Lehi had a copy of the scriptures.  He read to his family, and I know it gave them strength and direction.

The poster I found online is of the women of Lehi's family.  Daughters and wives, with babies on their hips, walking forward, steadfast with faith in their God shining in their eyes.  In the corner of the poster is a scripture, describing the experience of these women.

1 Nephi 17:1-3

1 ... And we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness.

2 And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.

3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

I read of these women, look in their eyes in the poster, and feel some of their strength pass to me.  These women loved their families.  They needed strength beyond what they were born with, so they could complete the great task before them.  Turning to God blessed them with what I know they desperately prayed for.  When we are on our knees with our most desperate prayers, aren't those prayers always about our families?  I imagine those women on their knees and in tears, pleading with God saying, "Please, help me feed my babies.  Help me wake up tomorrow, and keep moving.  Please give me strength to carry on, when on my own, I have none left".

God answered their prayers.  He gave them strength like men.  These city women, with soft, unchallenged bodies used to easy living and wealth, discovered they could live off of raw meat, travel while pregnant, give birth in the wilderness, and feed their children.

If God answered their prayers, is he not even more capable of helping me?  When I come to him through prayer, knowing my own strength has left, I know he can help me, just as he helped these women.  I do not need the same blessings.  Thankfully I do not need to learn to survive on raw meat, and live for years in a wilderness.  My trials are different, and the blessings personal to me.  I see them everyday.  After a long tiring day, I find I still have the energy to stay up with a sick baby.  A friend will call or stop by, and give me support I didn't even realize I so desperately needed.  A broken internet connection will fix itself, so we can still talk to Daddy.  I have hot water, plenty of food, a working car, good health, a washing machine, air conditioner, and internet camera.  I can talk to and see my husband who is on the other side of the world.  I am blessed and made stronger, by being able to see my many blessings, and appreciate and focus on them.  Reading the scriptures changes the way I think, and better allows me to find happiness at a difficult time. 

The women of Lehi's family didn't pray, and wake up in the comfort of their homes in Jerusalem.  I'm sure on weaker days they noticed they were still in the dirty wilderness, still tired, still had to live off raw meat, and had little ones who always needed them.  I have no doubt there were mornings where they looked around and thought, "I really hate this."

If I'm not careful it's too easy to hate my circumstances too.  I notice my dirty house I never seem to keep up with, the large stack of calendar days my husband is still away, how yucky and tired I feel, and how early my children wake up every day, not to mention that never ending list of tasks I need to complete no matter how I'm feeling.  I wouldn't trade with the women of Lehi's family though!  They found strength in God, and so can I.  They eventually reached a promised land.  They set a legacy of faith, and their posterity turned to their examples again and again, as do I.

    
Granted, the poster is romanticized a bit.  The girl in the front is beautiful, and they're in formation doing a "power walk" like in the movies.  I don't think it's necessarily meant to be realistic, but more to paint a feeling of strength and inner beauty I'm sure they had.  So what would my romantic poster look like?  If I could paint it myself, my hair would be gracefully swept back, blowing in the breeze perhaps, with Merrylee on my hip, and Anny standing by holding my hand and looking trustingly up at me.  I'd be gazing towards the sky, watching airplanes, and seeing beyond the clouds with thoughtful determination, and hope glowing from my eyes. 

We all should have motivating posters of ourselves, don't you think?  Posters that through their artwork speak the words, "I am a daughter of God.  I am daily blessed with divine strength, and can conquer any trial, just as those before me."

Nephi, son of Lehi, probably said it best when describing how God helped his family:

"...And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them..."

Represet the Four Year Old . . .

I added photos from Anny's gymnastics class today to our slideshow from the last post.  Check it out again, they're great pictures, and I caught several of her catching some air!  Her coach said she's really impressed by Anny, and can't believe this is her first gymnastics class!  Do we see a possible star in the 2020 Summer Olympics?  Nah, we wouldn't do that to her.  Anny really loves gymnastics, why ruin that for her?!!  We have to agree with her coach though, she's pretty impressive!! (and in more than just gymnastics!)

Little Pink Leotards, and a Little Pink Tree

Missing Daddy is just no fun.  Merrylee, Anny, and I have to do something to keep our morale up while Daddy's away for the holidays!!!  So what do we do?  We embrace our femininity. 

Watching chick flicks is way more common than college football, and there's lots of dancing while the soccer ball is lonely in the corner.  Jim Rome's radio show is replaced with princess songs in the car, and evidence of crafts, sewing, and art projects can be found in every room of the house.  Shopping trips are as long as we want them to be (and so are the receipts!).  Each of us understands and agrees there are appropriate times for crying, whether it be at the end of Toy Story 3, or because the tin of Danish Christmas butter cookies is empty, and you were so looking forward to eating one!!!  The estrogen flows freely, as does the chocolate.  We're survivors, taking on life one pinkalicious day at a time. 

Today's girly events revolved around pink things (they often do).  Both girls are in gymnastics classes this month, and today I found a little pink leotard a friend gave to us- size 2T.  Needless to say it was worn by a very cute two year old girl to her toddler gymnastics class today.  Of course Anny has a darling pink leotard of her own too!! 

On our way home we decided to pick up our Christmas tree, rather than fight Thanksgiving crowds next week.  I'm usually a "real tree" kind of girl, but with Daddy out for the holidays, much of my decorating motivation went with him.  Buying a fake tree just seemed simpler, not to mention it will last as long as we want it to, so we can leave it up for Daddy to see after he gets back. 

"That's all fine and well" you say, "but what does that have to do with pink things?"

Great question- one I didn't think I'd be answering today.  While looking at my different options of plastic trees, the girls spotted a three foot high little pink one, and fell in love.  I love my girls, and found I completely lacked the will to say no.  Of course if you're going to buy a little pink tree, you also need a pink Christmas tree skirt, pink garland, pink ornaments, and a pink star to put on top!  The girls were so happy and excited to set up their little tree in their bedroom.  Traditionally we wait until after Thanksgiving to put up the Christmas decorations, but for an occasion like this, would you have waited?!! 

Anny summed up the entire experience with the words, "I think I'm gonna cry a happy cry because our pink tree is so beautiful!!!!"

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This slideshow is dedicated to the Prince Charming of our hearts, we're all looking forward to that special "someday" you come home!

5 points if you know the classic girly movie the original version of the song in our slideshow comes from!! (this is a fun country version of the original)

$10 well spent

My lifelong friend and first college roommate, Dana, has a heart of gold.  She's friends with a family in Utah, and sadly the father of this family has cancer, and it doesn't look like he's going to make it.  She wants to do all she can to help with their situation, so she's completed a few handmade crafts, and is selling them as a small fundraiser.  You can read about this family's story, and what she's selling here.  One of the items are these darling little flower clips, with accompanying headband for babies or toddlers with slowly growing locks, like my little sweetie, Merrylee.  Dana is asking for $10 for a set of flower clips and a headband, and that includes shipping.  Photos of the different sets are in the above link.  My girls love these little clips, it was money very well spent.  Check out Dana's blog, read about this family, and think about supporting this great cause.  I'd probably spend $10 for these cute clips as it is, the girls love them!!!  Knowing I helped make a small difference for a family in need made the purchase even sweeter.     

By the way, the girls are only modeling two of the flower clips, a full set comes with more!

A little bit more

My hubbie had a late flight tonight.  By late, I mean it's past midnight, and it'll still be a few hours before he's home.  A good mother will have had her kids sound asleep for hours, a tidy house, dishwasher running, and getting some beauty sleep herself.  I'm 0 for 4.  Bad score, I know.   

Right at about dinner time I felt my energy crash.  I talked myself into taking a tiny cat nap.  With no husband to have dinner ready for tonight, I figured a twenty minute delay in our evening ritual wouldn't be a big deal. 

It wasn't twenty minutes. 

I was slightly aware of the girls coming up to me at different times with complaints about each other.  When consciousness fully hit me, it was 8:00pm.  With this afternoons' craft project still spread out on the kitchen table, a very messy playroom that had spread to the rest of the house and sink full of dirty dishes, I sighed. 

I really had no other choice.  I knew what I had to do.   

I made dinner, laid out a picnic blanket in the living room, and turned on a princess movie.  We ate several helpings of spaghetti and meat sauce, too much garlic bread, and cupcakes.  Merrylee giggled through the funny scenes of the movie, Anny questioned the meanings of the sad parts, and they both snuggled during the scary moments.  We all (even Merrylee- it was cute) cooed at the romantic lines.  My babies got to bed after 10:30.

Now it's after midnight, and I still have crafts on the kitchen table, a sink full of dirty dishes, and a messy playroom that has spread to the rest of the house.

I really had no other choice.  I knew what I had to do... and you're reading it! 

Happy blogging my friends.  Here's to cleaner houses, hours of sleep, and all the other good things we should be doing right now.  That can all can wait so I can share my thoughts with you.  I'm so glad I broke the rules.  Tonight was all about me and my girls, and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. 

And the mom, with her mom-feet in flip flops of pink,

stood puzzling and puzzling, knew not what to think!

It came without planning.  It came without nags. 

It came without makeup, cellphones, or scrubbing with rags!

And she puzzled and puzzled 'till her puzzler was sore.   

Then the Mom thought of something she hadn't before.  

Good parenting, perhaps, isn't about keeping score. 

Maybe parenting, she thought,

is a little bit more.  

 

Western Beauty

Nine years ago my mom and I flew 2000 miles away from our home, and after a few tearful hugs, she left me in a very different and foreign place- the west!  It wasn't at all like the lush, green, and busy metropolis I was used to in the east, yet I grew to adore the large open skies and grand towering mountains of my new home on the college campus of BYU, in Provo, Utah. 

A few weeks ago we drove back to my first home-away-from-home to visit my sister, who has also left her native east coast land, and made the west her own.  She just had her first baby, and we were anxious to meet little Ryan. 

I felt a nostalgic thrill as we entered the Provo valley, again experiencing a bit of the excitement that comes from leaving home, and experiencing life on your own.  I loved my years spent out west.  So much has happened to me since I first flew over those mountains.  Being there again, I felt like I was introducing my old home to the new me, and my now growing family. 

We didn't get to do half the things we'd planned to do on our visit- but we did get to see lots of friends and family, and enjoy some beautiful sites and detours on our long drive.  It was a lot of car time, but that also meant a lot of family time, and with Daddy gone a lot, we can never have too much of that. 

Our little car has made several cross-country trips, and it drove smoothly for this one too!  The views were perfect, weather beautiful, family precious, and our girls amazingly tolerant of all the carseat time.  Thanks to my incredible husband who spent hours planning every mile so things would run smoothly- they did! I'm sad it's all over.  After 4000 miles of driving, that says a lot! 

To my dear friend, the west, 'till we meet again, and may we have many happy returns! 

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Oh What do you Do

My baby is no longer so.  Merry little Merrylee turned two, and I'm a little behind in posting sweet photos of her special day. 

Both my little ones have their favorite songs they like me to sing to them when they need snuggles in the rocking chair.  Anny's has always been, "Daisy, Daisy".  I know you know it-

"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you . . ."

Merrylee's favorite song is Oh What Do You Do in the Summer Time? It's a song in our church children's songbook.  She fondly refers to it as "Oh What Do you Do".  You can listen to the original version here.  Click on the "words and music" dot on the left, and then hit play.

Inside Out, an acapella band I like, sings a cute version of the song.  I listened to it today on Itunes, and Merrylee ran out of the playroom and said, "Oh! I like that song!" and immediately started hopping around and dancing.  It only seems appropriate that I set her birthday slideshow to said song.

I don't think a little toddler could possibly be more loved than this one!   

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My Guitar Hero

Coming home from a deployment seems to suppress my husband's usual very frugal attitude. After the last deployment he decided we needed smart phones, and the accompanying data plans. He's not the type of guy to say I'm a stay at home mom and therefore have no need for such up to date technology. He's a true gentleman, and said if he's going to have a cool phone, then so am I.

Just before coming home this time, he decided it's time he bought a guitar. What's the only thing sexier than a good lookin' guy with an acoustic guitar? A good lookin' guy with an acoustic guitar, showing it off to his two baby girls. My guitar hero. Welcome home babe, we missed you like crazy, and everything is better with you here!

No Air

I heard the Jordin Sparks/Chris Brown song No Air on the radio the other day, and was reminded of this SYTYCD routine I saw about a year ago.  It's a beautiful dance, if you're brave enough to respect contemporary styles.  I tend to appreciate the more classical dance routines, my favorite being the ballroom waltzes, as long as the costumes are decent enough.  (What's with the new idea that to present a routine you have to be practically naked?!!)  However this dance caught me by surprise, I really love every bit of it, and have watched it over and over and over again.  Even now, a year later, it still makes me cry.   

Want to know what it feels like the first few moments after saying goodbye to a spouse leaving for a deployment?  If you do you're crazy, because as you can imagine, it's miserable.  This song and routine give a glimpse though.  For me at least, it literally does feel like I'm trying to breathe with no air.  Many of my faithful readers know all too well these feelings.  Those who don't, can imagine.  It's worse than what you imagine.  The anguish, fear, heartache, anxiety, and tears- it's just not something I can even begin to describe. 

I love the arts.  I love that we can express what we can't explain in words, through music, painting, sculpture, and dance.  The choreographers who made this dance seemed to know me!


Now that you've seen the dance, I want to end on the happy note that I'm grateful for my life support team when I'm out of air.  There are times when I know I couldn't breathe on my own if it weren't for my family, devoted friends, and my faith.  I'm looking forward to breathing well again soon, very soon.

Magic Pink Goggles

After a long and relaxing vacation in VA with the "Great Abs", the girls and I came home to a very welcoming group of friends, and swim lessons. They may look alike, but when it comes to the water (and many other things) my girls are very different. Merrylee is a little fishy, and used those very words today at the pool to describe herself.

"I'm a fishy!" she said, as she splashed and dipped her little sunscreen covered head into the water.

She shows no fear, and truly loves kicking her little feet, blowing bubbles, and even an occasional dunk (with Mommy of course). Anny however is more hesitant. Last year's swim lessons were difficult. Lots of drama, lots of tears, and no, it didn't get better after a few sessions. I feared another difficult two weeks ahead of me this year. We went to the pool a few days before they were going to start, and Anny seemed alright playing. She wasn't being pushed to try new things though, and I knew in her class she would be. My good friend, Kaycee, had a nice pair of pink tinted goggles. Anny and pink have a very close relationship, so needless to say she let Kaycee coax her into trying them on. To my amazement, Anny then dunked her little head into the water to look for a sinking toy. Then, she did it again!!! She kept it up until we were ready to go home. Guess who now has her own pair of fancy $12 pink goggles?!

Today was lesson #2, and I have the model child in class. Last year I was the parent apologizing for my screaming and upset kid. This year I hear the musical sounds of, "Look at Anny, see, Anny can do it!" and "wow, great job Anny, now everyone watch Anny!"

The teacher told me how blessed I was to have two children so naturally inclined to swimming and the water, and that I should be so proud of them. I am very proud of my little swimmers, but it's really not fair to give me much credit.  It's those magic pink goggles!!

It's been very exciting seeing Anny progress so much in that class, and enjoy herself while doing it!!!  She seems like such a big girl to me.  When asked about the Ariel on her swimsuit, she told the teacher today, "Oh, that's Ariel.  I really loved that movie when I was little."

Here's a photo of our sweet four-year-old swimmer, and another of her pretty hairstyle I made today, special for swim class to keep the hair out of her face and goggles. I'm actually quite proud of that little half-updo. My stylist friend must be rubbing off a bit!

When you're 30 and 4 . . .

I wish I remember the story it was from, but I remember someone reading to me that on our birthdays, we are not just the age we are turning, we're all of them together. For example, on Anny's birthday last week, she didn't just turn four. She was one, two, three, and four. She is a compilation of all those ages. She still has her silly three-year-old moments, her teary two-year-old moments, and her snugly one-year-old moments.  Four is just another begining, where new things can be added to her days of being three, two, and one.

I have to admit I have my two-year-old moments, where I just want to cry to my mommy and no amount of good advice or logic will make it better.  I have my seventeen year old moments where I can't help but daydream about the boy who likes me, (accept in my current self, that boy is the man I love and married!).  Then of course there's the mature twenty-seven-year-old-moments when I've realized there's no time for crying, because someone needs to be strong, cool minded, and solve whatever problem we're facing.  While Scott's still away and I'm the only adult home, that someone has to be me!  Being a big girl can mean having to ignore your two-year-old self (and three, and four, and even seventeen . . .) 

Thirty is a big birthday- one of those some people dread, others fully celebrate, but is rarely passed over unnoticed. I think that's because thirty is typically viewed as the official end of youth. The adult world now must admit, you belong. Why, do you ask, have I given this a bit of thought? No, I didn't just turn thirty. My husband did, and his birthday truly did slip by unnoticed! On the phone he said he wasn't telling anyone it was his birthday, "because I don't know what military guys do to celebrate birthdays, but it probably isn't good".

He's probably right. I don't see them digging up an ice cream cake and candles. Still though I was a little sad to see his big day come and go so very un-celebrated. But hey, we can celebrate when he's home again. He's not one to turn down a late birthday party or gifts. Perhaps we'll save the big celebration for next year, because after all, at 31, he's also 30, 29, 28, 27, 26 . . .

Here's to the July birthdays in the Andrews family!!!  Happy birthday Anny and Daddy!!!  Merrylee and I love you very much! 

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 30 or 4? 

Of course- what a question!!!!!!

An American Day

Our fourth of July was well celebrated. The pictures compose a much better 1000 word essay than I can write, so I'll keep my comments short. Great day, amazing friends, and wonderful memories made!

We miss you Daddy, but our friends are making sure our time is still filled with sun, laughter, and happiness. While you're not in any of these photos, you were definitely on our minds all day, as we celebrated this blessed country in which you're fighting to protect. Your sacrifice is more personal to us since we're part of it, but we're still grateful for what you do. It makes days like this possible.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

the sigh of the weary

I find myself occasionally living days where I hum the chorus of the folk song Hard Times.  You can find the full text here.  The lyrics are sadly beautiful.  It's a song I think all human beings at some point in their lives find they can relate to.  Here's the chorus:

Tis the song, the sigh of the weary,
Hard Times, hard times, come again no more,
Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;
Oh hard times come again no more. 

You can listen to an arrangement of this song in my playlist.  My favorite version is sung acapella by Eclipse, but I don't know how to post that on my blog.  Anyone who knows how to post a specific song not found on playlist.com, I'd love to hear your instruction!

I haven't had days filled with hunger.  I've always had shelter, food, clothing, and my physical needs met, as most people fortunate enough to live in this country can say.  I have however had my weary days.  Everyone at some point I think experiences deep and thorough weariness, with no obvious or close end in sight.  My Christian brothers and sisters however, know and have faith in happier times to come, because that's what faith in the Savior brings.



After watching this very moving video, I felt a little cheated.  I wanted to know what happened to the family!  What happened to that poor father, his wife and small children?  Then I read more about the video, and realized Elder Holland is telling his own story.  Obviously, he kept his faith and things worked out. 

Have you ever wondered, if the "future you" could visit and give you advice, what it would be?  I'd expect the future Liz would say the same things I'd say now, if I had the chance to advise the struggling seventeen-year-old I was 10 years ago.    

"Hold to your faith.  Believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ.  He never will and cannot fail you, and your life, while not always perfect nor easy, is beautiful and happy.  Hold to your faith.  Your efforts are worth it."

Oh Deer!

I was on the phone this morning, and heard Anny call out while eating her breakfast, "Mommy, there are animals in our yard!" 

I replied with "Ok Anny". 

Anny regularly "sees" whales and sharks everytime we drive over the bay bridge to Pensacola, so I didn't put much stock in her animal sighting in our backyard.  Until I actually turned around and looked that is . . . .

Bye-bye Bambi, thanks for the visit, you made our morning very exciting!!  Sting rays in the water, deer in our backyard, perhaps I should be watching for sharks and whales as we drive over the bay...

blue crayon day

It's actually more of a blue crayon week than day. 

A nice, bright, royal blue crayon got left in the car today, on the front passenger seat of our van.  Add to this pretty mixture, the greenhouse effect of the Florida sunshine.  No further description needed. 

We dropped off Scott again at the airport for another deployment.  The same now sadly familiar feelings of emotional pain shot through my body, as I tried and failed to contain the screaming tears, and tried yet failed to pretend I was strong, and ok with saying goodbye.  Why do we try to pretend?  Here's a few reasons I suppose:

1- it scares my little girls to see me sobbing
2- if I can somewhat contain my emotions, perhaps the girls wont fully realize what's going on.  Innocence is bliss they say . . .
3. I don't want Scott to feel guilty for doing his job and fighting for his country.  At least I think I don't. 
4. It's not safe to drive with blurred vision
5. Pleading, "please don't leave me, please don't go, I love you, don't leave . . ." doesn't change the fact that he still has to

Forcing me to pull out of my own selfish wallowing, I received the news that a dear friend of mine had a tragedy in her family.  My pain that has become as regular as Scott's deployment schedule, is minuscule compared to what she is and will be going through over the next few weeks and months. 

So what next?  I turn my pain into action.  Comfort and love my friend - scrub melted blue crayon.  Blue crayon does not totally come out.  Heartache never completely washes away.

So what next?  We keep scrubbing, and keep comforting and loving each other.  A very wise woman told me on the phone today, "Virtually anything is possible if you don't have to do it alone." 

Thank you to all my devoted family and friends, who are always there for me when blue crayon days come around.  I love you and am so very grateful.  Way more than a silly blog entry can describe . . .

The front passenger seat- after an hour of scrubbing, soaking up the excess wax with an iron and brown paper, and several different solvents and cleaners . . . and to think when I was little, the blue crayon was my favorite!

Bind my wandering heart to thee . . .

Any of you who keep your speakers on while visiting my blog, may have noticed a change in my music playlist. Inspired by a friend, I decided to choose songs that convey sweet feelings of nostalgia, love, and simple pleasures. Peaceful tunes that inspire thought, or calm the heart. These songs all do that for me.

One tune in particular is special to me, and I have three different versions of it on my list, all instrumental. The American folk tune, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, inspires and uplifts me every time I hear it. Here are the words to this classic and much loved Christian hymn written in 1757 by Robert Robinson, more recently arranged by Mack Wilberg for the Mormon Tabernacle Chior.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
"1. Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

2. Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

3. Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

4. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above."

How often have I felt sad, lonely, tired from the scars of life, and prayed to my Heavenly Father to simply save me, heal me, have mercy on my imperfect life, and bring me back to him? Bind my wandering heart to thee . . .

We are all prone to wander, make mistakes, feel sorrow, and pain of our own making. I'm eternally grateful for the healing sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ. With his scars, we are healed. All he asks, is for us to come unto Him, and live like Him; follow his perfect example in every way that we can. When we fall short, as we all so often do, He is there waiting to pick us up, and help us try again. I hear this song, and am reminded of his amazing grace and love for me. It brings me inner peace, and encourages me to be a little more patient, kind, and enduring, to work harder, and give more of myself. I want my life to be worthy of the prayer in this song, "and I hope by, Thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home."

Nursemaid Elbow - Common Courtesty Please

No one feels better after a, "You didn't know that? I've always known that" comment.  There are some things that if you're socially competent, or wish to be known as someone with class, you really shouldn't say.  Along with the above mentioned, are phrases that begin with the following:

"I don't mean to be a jerk, but . . ."
"No offense, but . . ."
"I know I shouldn't say this, but . . ."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but . . ."
"I don't want to sound rude, but . . ."

You get the idea.  Saying you don't want to look like a jerk doesn't make it alright to speak like one.  So please, if you already knew about this, I don't want to hear it.  I'm passing on a life experience I wish I had understood before, or read about on someone else's blog.  It would have saved us some grief, and a late night trip to the E.R.

We all love playing with our kids.  Tossing them up in the air, and hearing that squeal of delight and those sweet giggles keep us swinging and tossing until we've given ourselves a workout no expensive gym membership can top!  Even then, those cute chubby faces are pleading, "again, more swinging?  Please, up high?!"

Not easy to turn down- unless of course this innocent play ends in screams and tears.  Such was the case last night, with our little Merrylee.  We were holding her up high by the hands, and blowing raspberries on her tummy, when giggles turned to tears.  Not all that unusual, tickling often is only tolerated for so long- accept this time a little snuggling wasn't making it better.  Neither were fruit snacks, or other offers of treats.  She just sat there, quietly fussing, and not moving her arm.  We examined it for swelling, felt around for breaks, but didn't find anything unusual.  She didn't like us moving it though, and wouldn't move it herself.  We thought maybe a muscle was pulled, and hoped she'd start moving it again after a little while.  As the evening progressed however, it didn't change, and we got more worried.  She ate her supper, and played a little, but still wouldn't move that arm.

My experienced mother of 6 mother-in-law mentioned the term nursemaid elbow.  You can read about it here.  She was visiting my sister-in-law, and we drove two hours to spend the evening with them.  We got home pretty late, and put the girls to bed, hoping maybe after some rest Merrylee would wake up feeling better.  It was too late to call her doctor, and I really didn't want to take her to the emergency room unless I really had to.  It didn't appear to be broken, wasn't swollen, and she wasn't crying about it anymore.  As any parent who's experienced the late night E.R. trip knows, it's definitely something to avoid if possible.  Lots of waiting, lots of germs, lots of hassle. 

Merrylee, of course wouldn't sleep, thus increasing our worry.   I tried to look up her symptoms on the Internet, but found nothing conclusive or helpful.  Then I tried looking up the term my mother-in-law gave me.  Sure enough, she matched every symptom!  It's basically a partially dislocated elbow, and a very common injury among toddlers and young children under 6.  It's caused by pulling on the child's arm while it's fully extended.  It can happen by something as innocent as Mom and Dad each holding a hand, and swinging the toddler over a curb or step.  Don't tell me you've never done that with your child, because I wont believe you!

Symptoms include crying at the initial injury, and then the child refusing to use the arm, but more or less carrying on like normal, unless something forces him or her to move the arm.  The article suggested to immediately go visit the doctor, or if after hours, visiting an emergency room.  So that's what I did.  Very fortunately, we were the only ones there.  We went through Triage in record time, and saw a doctor right away.  He gently popped her elbow back into place.  It's hard to say if she was crying because it hurt, or because she doesn't like doctors.  (She definitely doesn't like doctors, she cries even at Anny's appointments).  However she immediately regained the use of her arm, and used it to push the doctor away with her little hand.  As we were walking back to the car, her tears were gone, and she was using the arm to point at the "twinkle, twinkle, little stars". 

We got home around three a.m., and all went to bed and slept soundly.  If you're gonna go to the ER, that's the way to do it!  No wait, no blood, minimal drama, and immediate recovery.  She's a happy baby again today, and we're grateful and a little wiser.  Learn from us and pass it on, so your only involvement with this common injury is what you've read here!    

shadows in the water

A family trip to the beach today (still no oil pollution yet, knock on wood!) brought a surprise- 100's of sting rays in the water! They were close enough to touch, just feet off the shore in waist deep water, if they held still, which of course they never did. I hear a stingray sting is painful, however watching them today made me wonder how anyone ever manages to get stung! Maybe they act differently in other parts of the gulf.  As you can see from my photos, as soon as we got close enough to take a picture they'd swim away. If you're local or plan to visit and you're worried, avoiding these animals is easy. They only attack if they're startled, and none of the curious beach bums managed to get close enough to do that. However if you're still worried, to best prevent a sting, "shuffle" your feet in the water. Any possibly buried rays (we never saw them bury themselves, they just skidded along the top of the warm water) will feel the vibrations, and swim away quickly.

We truly live in an incredible and beautiful place!

This may be my last post . . .

... of beautiful photos on our beautiful Gulf Coast beach. I feel guilty praying the oil slick heads west, but I selfishly would rather someone else's beach be destroyed than ours. Not that I have much choice in the matter anyway!

Special shoutout to my good friend, Vanessa, who took all these beautiful pictures! Check out her photography blog here: http://momentsbymurray.blogspot.com/ She's very talented!

It's a Love Story . . .

One of my very best friends sent me a link to this You Tube video, and it made my day, on a day when it needed to be made.  Reading that you'll think this is some inspirational or possibly spiritual video.  Nope! While both are great, the medicine I needed this time was humor.   

This week I feel exactly like the mom in the video does, in the "three years later" part of the song, only it's 5 years later for us.  Same boat though.  Enjoy, and pass on the link to another overwhelmed mom in desperate need of something to laugh at!



Five stars from this exhausted and emotional stay-at-home critic!

Can a photo display true happiness?

yes, yes it can.

When in Rome...

Merrylee and Daddy sharing a munchkin

Anny's "finished" pink frosted donut

When in Rome...

There are over 400 Dunkin Donuts in just the Boston area. Here we are doin' as the Romans do ...

Mommy's Baby

Most friends look at Merrylee and exclaim,

"Wow, she looks so much like her Daddy!"

May I present the following evidence that she is indeed, my child too?

Mommy 1984

Merrylee 2010

half empty, or half full?

HALF EMPTY

1. a 4 day visit from my parents and little brother turns to a 2 day visit, due more snow in VA and flight cancellations
2. the 2nd day of their visit, I get to experience my very first car crash (not my fault!)
3. my babies and brother were in the car at the time
4. there's almost $5000 of damage to my car
5. the state trooper writes me a ticket and puts a "point" on my license for not having proof of insurance with me (learn from my mistake, and go make sure that paper is in your car!!)
6. to dispute the ticket and drop the charges, I have to go to court to show my proof of insurance
7. Today, the day after my mom went home, all three of us came down with nasty colds, accompanied with fevers
8. Because we're sick, I have to cancel my babysitter and much anticipated spa night with a good friend, who's husband is also deployed
9. Do I even have to mention, this all happens while Scott is gone?!!

HALF FULL

1. despite all the snow and flight cancellations, my parents still manage to come down for a visit and I don't have to be alone for Valentines Day
2. my very first car accident happens with my parents there to walk me through every step, keep the girls happy, and me calm
3. no one was hurt, and the driver of the other car is a decent person who admitted fault
4. the other driver was fully insured, his insurance is covering all costs, and had us set up with a rental car right away
5. when the insurance agent called with a damage report, the damage is less than what our car was worth (in other words, our car wasn't totaled!)
6. my mother changed her return flight date so she could extend her visit, and help me cope with the stress of getting through an accident
7. We had a fun day being spoiled by Grandma, and went around Navarre pretending to be beach tourists. She bought us Navarre Beach t-shirts, sea shell Christmas ornaments, salt water taffy, and other tourist trap goodies, and we ate dinner at a restaurant on the beach
8. Today, the day after my mother went home, is a beautiful, sunny, 60 degree day, and I was surprised by a delivery of a dozen pink and red roses from Scott. The bouquet he sent for Valentines Day is still bright and beautiful too, and my mom left us her Valentines Day flowers from Dad, so our home is full of sweet, fragrant flowers, reminding me that I'm loved, blessed, watched over, and that although not always easy, life is indeed beautiful.

The prettiest hair takes longest to grow

My mother has often said, "Every mother believes her child is beautiful. Some of them are right!"

Well, I both think my daughters are beautiful, and that I'm right! Anny has this soft, fine blond hair, that naturally does a sweet, curly little flip at the sides. It has been 3 1/2 years in the making, and recently has finally been due for a first haircut.

Here's our photo-documentation of this special day:

Before

I love the view of her little face in the mirror here!

And the finished product!

What, you can't tell a difference between the beginning and ending shots? That's because our stylist, Katie, is so talented. She preserved the little girl sweetness of Anny's hair, but still evened out the layers so it will lay better, and trimmed the back up a little, eliminating the baby mullet look she was starting to grow! Check out the photos I took of Anny's hair the next day, now that it's lighter, and laying how it should! This is how she now looks everyday, with as little care as running a comb through in the morning. Her natural curl and precious baby girl flip are back, and sweeter than ever!

Special thanks of course goes to our dear friend and awesome personal stylist, Katie Craig! If you're in the area and looking for someone fabulous to trust with your precious locks, she's your girl. She's been cutting and styling my hair for almost a year, and I'd never go to anyone else! I even trust my babies with her. If we're still in the area in the next 2-3 years, she can do Merrylee too!

Food for Thought

One of the luxuries I allow myself while Scott is deployed (yup- again. He's on a regular home-again-gone-again schedule) is eating well, and eating well . . . wherever and whatever we want. I try to make it fun, for both myself and the girls. Scott's only been gone a week and a half, and already we've been to or ordered take out from:

Burger King

Wendy's

McDonalds

Whataburger

Thai Hut 2

Guglielmo's Italian Grill

and if we're feeling better from some yucky colds, tomorrow we'll add:

D'Won's Cajun Buffet

We've also bought various snack and treat items at the grocery store that include but are not limited to- Entenmann's Chocolate Doughnuts, Chex Mix, Garlic Bagel Chips, Valentines Day themed Little Debbie heart cakes, Pringles, dried pineapple pieces, apple chips, and Ghiradelli Dark Chocolates, the raspberry and mint-filled kinds.

I even vary the presentation of our meals, by eating on the family room floor, picnic style on a blanket and in front of the TV, or taking fast food to the playground, etc.

Tonight I tried to be a fun cool mom, and make a meal with just my girls in mind. I served corndogs, and made my own french fries- my own healthier version anyway. I cut up potatoes into french fry shapes, and baked them in the oven on a cookie sheet. I even bought a chocolate cake at the grocery store. You know- one of the little pretty ones that you usually admire, but never actually buy. Well, Scott's deployed, so we bought it.

I have to admit, I was proud of my fun, kid friendly meal. Merrylee, as usual appreciated my efforts, and happily filled her little 16 month old tummy. Anny, again as usual, was not so appreciative. Under threat of no cake, she took a couple courtesy bites from her corn dog, glanced at her fries, and reminded me she doesn't like potatoes. (yet she doesn't make that distinction for McDonald's fries) When I got out the camera to take pictures for Scott, she held her corn dog up to her mouth to make a cute convincing photo. I snuck out the camera when she was showing her true self however, and being defiant. Needless to say, she did not get any cake. Instead she had to watch Merrylee chirp with glee in her little baby voice, "keek! keek! keek!" as she devoured with both hands her slice of "Cookies and Cream Marble Cake with Buttercream Frosting". Unfortunately for me, the cake had more dairy in it than I expected, so the grocery store cake experience was a little disappointing. Speaking of disappointing, I gave up on Anny, and threw away a very full plate of food. She then found the nerve to call to me from her seat, "Thank you so much for that supper, Mom. I forgive you."

sigh . . . so glad I'm forgiven.

Merrylee, chowin' down her corn dog, corn-on-the cob style. Anny was the one who actually described it that way. "Look Mommy! Merrylee's eating it like corn on the cobb!"

Anny posing for Daddy's picture . . .

. . . and being herself.