NOT a declaration post

So I have to confess, I tend to squirm at "public declarations of love" posts other people make on their blogs.  You know, those gushy entries about how their husbands, fiancees or sweethearts are amazingly amazing.  It's not necessarily because I find them cheesy, although sometimes they definitely are.  Reading them gives me the same awkward feeling I get when I see a couple kissing.  I feel a need to blush and glance away, like I'm intruding, even though there's no obvious concern for privacy.

Is that odd of me to feel that way?  I'm a romantic person.  Chick flick movies and books are some of my best friends!  Except for the occasional overly-graphic-for-a-PG13-movie bedroom scenes, I don't look away from the screen during moments of romance.   Inwardly I swoon at the kisses perfectly silhouetted by the morning sunrise.  That's different though.  I know the characters can't see me.  Staring isn't rude, because not only are they not aware of my presence, but they're not real in the first place!  It's just a story, and as fun as it is to imagine, no one can truly invade a story.

Witnessing a similar lovey-dovey scene in real life however, is not the same euphoric experience.  Maybe it should be!  Here, right in front of me, is not storybook love, but real, true, sweet and sincere shared affection.  So why can't I look???  I haven't been married so long that I've forgotten what it's like to shamelessly take part in a little PDA.  To be so lost in that pink fluffy cloud of elation that is new love, that you forget there are people around you.  I remember that, and I don't regret the moments where we probably made people around us squirm.  "Love sees with the heart, not with the mind", therefore the common sense to keep kisses and adoring stares behind doors, isn't so common.  I get that.  Still though, I turn my head, or pretend to be very occupied with whatever I'm holding.  I can't watch!

So rest assured, this is not a love post.  Even though I'm crazy about the man who married me, and get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about his gray-blue eyes and his heart melting smile, this isn't a public declaration.  Despite how distracted I've been of late, staring off into space, thinking about how much I miss his laugh, or how the cruel world melts away when he holds me at the end of a long day, despite all that, this is not one of "those" entries.  Just because I sometimes refuse to get dressed so I can spend the entire morning in PJ's and his robe, because it smells like him and I don't want to forget that smell, doesn't mean I'm going to write all about it.  And when I hear the perfect song on the radio that I'm pretty sure he paid two beautiful singers to write and sing just for me because it fits us so well, doesn't mean I'm going to put up a youtube link to the music video for the whole world to see.  I wouldn't do that.  Because who'd want to see that?  Just look away, friends, look away.

    

Do you hear me? I'm talking to you, across the water, 
across the deep blue ocean, under the open sky,
oh my, baby I'm tryin'.  


I feel you whisper, across the sea,
I keep you with me, in my heart
You make it easier 
when life gets hard.


They don't know how long it takes,
Waiting for a love like this.
Every time we say goodbye, 
I wish I had one more kiss.
I'll wait for you, 
I promise you, 
I will.  


Lucky we're in love in every way,
Lucky to be coming home someday . . . 

I love you.  I miss you.