See what I see...

Facebook seems crowded with women posting and re-posting this video from Dove.

I wont get into the obvious flaws of this "study" that make the results completely unreliable, because this post is already too long.  On the surface, I think we all can appreciate that women in general don't give themselves enough credit, or are too critical of their appearances leading to low self esteem issues that plague the female sex.  OK.  After that tiny ounce of credit I give the company, I must now get on my well worn soapbox.

Women are more than physical beauty.  Physical beauty is shallow.  It is empty.  It says nothing of value about the person.  However we, as human beings cannot help but want it.  I'll admit, I want it.  It's in the title of my blog!  I want to be pretty, and think I am.  But really, I don't care to be remembered that way.  I want my friends to remember me, as pretty smart, pretty kind, pretty thoughtful, pretty sweet, pretty devoted, pretty faithful, pretty creative, pretty selfless...

Why are we so obsessed with physical appearances?  I could go on and on about the media and it's negative impacts on self image, but it wouldn't even exist if the desire to be beautiful wasn't already there.  We want and love physical beauty, because it's natural.  Scientifically, that desire is there to preserve the species.  Signs of beauty are typically correlated with signs of good health, thus encouraging the mating of healthy people, and creating offspring most likely to survive.  So, it's in our genetic makeup to pursue it and desire it.  It's natural.  That doesn't mean it's right.

A great king in the ancient Americas, King Benjamin, and consequently our son's namesake, in his old age gathered all of his people together so he could give them a final address before his death.  His people gathered for miles, setting up their tents around a tower erected for the King to speak from.  He taught many great and beautiful things.  His words are recorded in The Book of Mormon, and among the great wisdom he shared with his people, he gave the following, found in Mosiah 3:19:

For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.  

While we naturally are drawn to physical beauty, and want to judge others and ourselves by those worldly standards, that is not the way of God.  We must rise above that.  Did you notice what example King Benjamin uses to illustrate how to put off the natural man?  He describes a child.

Children see us as we are.  They love freely, unhindered by physical characteristics.  They can see what somehow, as adults, we cannot so easily see.  They have a Christlike love that is pure and unaffected.  Quick to forgive, they openly share unblemished devotion to almost everyone they know.  There are exceptions.  They do judge, but the way God judges- by choices and actions.   Think of the children you know and adore. They love most those who are the kindest to them.  Anyone who is harsh, mean, or mistreats them, they turn away from, fear, and do not love.  And yet, sweetly, they still want to.  They want to love everyone.

In God's eyes, we are beautiful because He made us.  He wants us to see that, and to see that in others.  He wants us to see what is good, and to try to be that way ourselves.  He wants us to follow the example of His son, Jesus Christ.

Look in the mirror.  Do you limit yourself to your natural inhibitions, judging by meaningless, empty physical traits, or do you look beyond the natural man, and see something more?  I challenge you to see how our Savior sees.  He loves you.  He knows your great potential.  Find the things in that reflection that are truly beautiful.  Look at the person who is a good friend.  Find in your eyes someone who loves to study, read, and learn.  Take in the beauty of an individual who is independent, creative, and brave.  Look at the hands that have brought comfort, shared freely, and worked long and patiently for others.  You have feet that can run miles, that can dance, that can take you to great places, ears that can recognize music everywhere, and a mouth that can teach, whisper, smile, and sing.  You have strength to stand up for yourself and others, and a heart that is able to share, love, and forgive.  This is what the Savior sees, what we were meant to do with our bodies, and this precious gift of life we have.  This is what beauty is.

Here is a song and slideshow that I think paint a sweet picture of this very message.

And here's a better video, that teaches so much more than that weak commercial for Dove products.  It speaks of our divine heritage.  We are sons and daughters of God, with endless potential for good.  The true beauty in our reflection, comes from the choice to follow Jesus Christ.


Rise above the sleaze and natural, lost, and lonely images the world is trying to put forth.  Your beauty is based on something so much greater, and is meant to last forever.  So forever lose yourself in those things that have great worth, and mold an individual to be admired and loved for all that you are, and can do.  Something divinely beautiful.
     

I want to run through the halls of my highschool . . .

I've been watching ABC's new show Once Upon a Time.  For the most part I've enjoyed it.  I like the fairy tale element, and am a true lover of a good fantasy story.  In one thing with this show I've been extremely dissapointed though, and it's been stewing in my mind for weeks now. What I wish to write about today, concerns the Prince Charmings. 

The basis of the show is how the evil witch who haunts Snow White, has moved all fairy tale characters to our modern world, where she can doom them to misery and dominate them.  There are flashback scenes in the fairy tale world, intermixed with scenes showing how our beloved characters, cursed with no memory of who they used to be, are dealing with modern times.  

In the beautiful fairy tale world, the Prince Charmings don't vary much from how we've always known them.  They are dashing, chivalrous, honorable, selfless, and kind.  Protecting the innocent and those who cannot help themselves, they are heros who bravely fight dragons, monsters, wicked soldiers and witches.  Always great leaders, their knights trust them and promise unfailing loyalty.  They are ferocious in battle, yet demonstrate softer sides where they adore their beautiful princess brides, even enough to wait until their wedding nights for intimacy.  They are family men who want to have children, and would die to protect anyone they love.      

The actors who play the prince charming characters are the same men in the "real world" settings.  However just as their outfits change, so do their characters.  They are just as dashing, but not half as honorable.  Cinderella's man is a son from a rich family, who has gotten her pregnant at 19, abandoned her, and allowed his father to make illegal adoption plans for the unborn child, against Ella's will.  Our prince stands idly by, only to make a last minute appearance in the hospital after poor Ella went through labor alone.  He oh-so-sweetly sits by Ella's side, and promises he'll never leave her again.  He doesn't even offer a better-late-than-never marriage proposal, but rather a pathetic promise reminiscent of most trashy dads who sire illegitimate children with teenage girls.  That hospital scene is set to sweet music, and illustrated as beautiful, possibly worth a glistening tear.

Snow White's prince is a little better, but not by much.  His story hasn't concluded, but it doesn't look too promising.  So far he has woken from a coma, and in his new life in our world, he's a married man suffering from amnesia, and falling in love with Snow White.  Did I mention Snow White is not his wife?  He still feels some connection with Snow though, and convinces her he has plans to leave his wife to be with her. Awwww.  Every mother's wish, right?  For her daughter to marry a man to who's broken his current home to start up again.  How sweet.  I'm sure this time his promises are sincere.  In case you can't read between the lines, I'm laying on the sarcasm pretty thick.  Snow White's prince does suddenly "remember" his past, and decides not to leave his wife after all - but not before he's given great heartache to both his wife and Snow White, leaving one confused and the other devastated.

These type of men do exist.  I'm not arguing the true-to-reality fact there.  My problem is these are the type of men we are painting as modern day prince charmings.  How sad.  How pathetic.  While the readers of my blog are probably the choir I'm preaching to, I feel I must put my voice out there, and proclaim that prince charmings of the fairy tale world exist.  They are real!  There are honorable men, in every way as wonderful as the men we read about in story books.  There are good men, with good hearts, living clean lives, who wish to provide and protect, who love kids, and will devote themselves to you and your family forever! It is not a fantasy!!

"The hunt" is a lesser known secret though- one I wish to reveal here.  These glorious men are not waiting in singles bars, or at the club.  You're not likely to simply run into a prince on the street either.  Good men are found in good places, doing good things.  They're at church, or serving as the volunteer coach on the soccer field, or helping out at a charity function.  Get involved in those kinds of things, and you'll run into them.  Live worthy of these men by livng lives similar to theirs, and they'll fall in love with you, and stay in love. 

John Mayer sings a song I laugh at, called No Such Thing.  Fans of his, forgive me, I don't hate the guy, just this particular song.  I think it's silly.  In the chorus he says:

I want to run through the halls of my highschool
I want to scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
It's just something they try to lie about.   

I laugh at this, because obviously for him there's no such thing as the "real world".  He's a successful rockstar!  Whatever reality he lives in has nothing to do with the world the rest of us experience.  Anyway, the song comes to mind here.  I too want to run through the halls of my highschool, and scream at the top of my lungs.  I want to yell to all the young girls there the amazing news that Prince Charmings are real!  They are real and waiting for women who are living like them.  So be like them!!!  Impress them, and be irrisitable by living honorable, chaste, sweet lives like the princesses in the stories.  Be smart, be kind, be clean, be honest, be involved, be positive, be true.  Live beautifully, and find yourself frequently in the places these great men are found.  They will see you there, and they will seek you out.  They will love you, and cherrish you, and will make you happy.  Did I mention they'll marry you before they love you too much?     

I can't physically run through my highschool's halls, the security guards would kick me out.  Consider this post my scream though, and pass this on to any woman searching.  If you're the one searching but feel you aren't currently living the life of a princess worthy of the men I described, then change!  Become worthy, and live your life so you can recognize a good prince when you see him.  Then go to the right places to seek him out.  Don't give up on your search until you do.  A good prince will fight for you, go do the same for him.  He's worth it.  Beleive me, I know.  I happen to be speaking from beautiful, wonderful, long lasting experience.   

It's a Love Story

Our "Love Story" isn't unique, or heart wrenchingly dreamy. I suppose there is some romance to being married to an Air Force pilot, but no happy couple likes to be separated by hundreds of miles, no matter how patriotic the cause, and that's what pilots do. They fly away. However despite the heartache I know will come with my husband's first deployment, I can still say with all my heart it's worth it for the moments he's here. He really is my Romeo, knight in shining armor, and Prince Charming all in one. Not to mention he's very much a hero in our daughters' eyes. I love Taylor Swift's song Love Story, because despite its unrealistic lyrics of princes and princesses in love, it still reminds me of our own story. Probably because underneath all her pretty descriptions is a song about real, intoxicating, everlasting, butterflies-in-your-tummy love, and that's what we have.