My Florida

My life in beautiful Florida has been bittersweet.  Mixed with crystal blue-green water and sparkling, powder white sand, are the tumultuous feelings of too many goodbyes for our family.  This is the place where we had to learn that being an eternal family doesn't mean you always get to be together.  

Are you tired of reading about the woes of deployments?  What a coincidence!  So am I.  Sadly being tired of something doesn't entitle me to a break.  There are many positives that come with military life.  Rest for the weary however, isn't among them.  The country needs fighters - strong soldiers and families who can do more with less.  With the current financial situation, they work longer hours with less sleep, travel further with shorter periods home, complete missions with smaller teams, and as families, stay together without actually being together very often.  Typically those who risk the most, and have the most dangerous jobs with the highest mortality rate, have some of the lowest salaries and are away the very longest.  I don't know why it has to be like that, but it is.  

Florida has taught me that physically, we do have to let go, and often.  However with patience and slow but steady growth, I've learned those goodbyes are temporary.  We are an eternal family, we made promises in one of God's holy temples, and were blessed that living up to those promises means the bonds of marriage and family will never break.  After all those goodbyes, I know, never doubting, that we will always be reunited.  He will always come home.  And if that worst of all fears happens, and the dearest cost of war touches our family, one day I will come home to him.  No goodbye is final, no separation permanent.  Sometimes the happiness we have together seems brief, but I know I'll have it again.

My mother warned me of possible perils of looking only towards homecomings, and forgetting to live in between.  She is wise and so I have tried to stay happy both when our family is all together and when it is not.  However any of you who have experienced something like this know, that while you continue on with your life, and keep smiling, moving, and living day by day, you're still secretly, acutely aware of that calendar.

If you find this difficult to understand, imagine going without something you love, and use everyday.  Take daily hot showers, for example.  For reasons you don't want, like, or completely understand, you have been told you will not be allowed to shower for a period of four months.  Imagine how that last week of showers before the moratorium begins will mean to you.  Imagine how you'd feel if you were interrupted during those last few showers, or for some reason had to shorten a few of them.  Then imagine that first morning where you crawled out of your warm bed into the chilly morning, and then couldn't go take one.  All day you'd try not to think about it, but you'd be keenly aware of your oily hair, a bit self conscious of your smell, and would probably feel like you were holding up a sign that said, "Yes, it's true, I didn't shower today!"

Now add time to our little example.  As time continues, a part of you would adjust to the change in daily habit.  However do you think there will ever be a day where you can completely forget that you haven't had a shower in days, weeks, or months?  Do you think you'd be able to avoid thinking about that first blissful moment when showers are a part of your life again?  Add to that the complication that you cannot shower or bathe your children either.  Everywhere you go you'd feel like "the stinky family", and in all your misery, you'd have the additional challenge of keeping your kids happy, despite reminding them they still can't play with rubber duckies.  You'd have to listen to them cry about how much they miss bubbles, and splashing warm water at the end of a long day.  How about all those clean people around you, who feel they should give you regular advice about how to not think about showers?  Some of them will even put on sympathetic faces, and oh-so-sweetly say that considering everything you've gone through, you really don't smell that bad.  And because you are a kind, polite person, you're supposed to show genuine gratitude towards those well scrubbed friends with all the advice.

I bet just reading that makes you want to go shower again today!  Me too.    

Oh my sweet, beautiful, Florida, how much I have learned, grown, and changed while strolling your shores!  I don't know how much longer we'll be together, and though not all of our memories are happy, I am at least grateful for the beauty, experience, and wisdom you have given me.  If I could pause time, where my babies are young and sweet, and my husband is home and we are all together, I'd choose that perfect moment to be here, with you!  

Sadly I cannot freeze time for us.  But of all the places to be both happy and sad, it's pretty easy to say this is the best one.  And while I cannot actually live that wonderful frozen moment, thanks to my talented friend, Kaycee, we can at least know what that moment would look like!  Looking at it isn't the same as living it, but it's close.

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And to my constant and forever best friend, remember we'll always be at home waiting, loving, and smiling thinking of you, no matter how often you have to leave, or wherever you go.    

a few of the things I love most!

This post is for me.  Sadly Daddy doesn't have a lot of time home before he has to go out again.  It's already flying by so fast!  I decided to make a slideshow of all the fun things we've been doing with him lately, so when I miss him, I can follow Freulein Maria's example, and simply remember my favorite things from when he was here.  I'll be revisiting this post a lot!

Emerald green water that sparkles in sunshine,

Chocolate dipped berries and kids early naptimes,

Zaxbys, and Flounders, and Buffalo Wild Wings,

These are a few of my favorite things!

Strawberry picking with Dad, son and daughters,

Homemade pink syrup, jam, muffins, and cobblers. 

Silver white sand castles, dolphins up close,

These are a few of the things I love most!

When goodbyes come,

When I miss you,

When I’m feeling sad,

I’ll simply remember my favorite things,

and then I wont feel, so bad!

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Stop and smell the roses

While my DH was enduring the difficult, intense year of pilot training, we lived in base housing on Columbus AFB, in Mississippi.  It was our first experience living on a military base.  The housing was old, dating back to what was rumored the 1950's.  However the 3 bedroom duplex was more space than our previous 2 bedroom apartment we had in Las Vegas.  It was sturdy, built in the days when things were made to last, had a small back yard and surprisingly large front yard, covered carport, and roses planted by the front windows.  The streets were named after state capitols, (we lived on Albany) and because the housing had been there awhile, the trees were large and full, and gave the neighborhood a safe, friendly, suburban feel.

There seemed to be an unspoken connection we all felt with our neighbors.  Everyone wanted to know each other, be friends, have barbecues, go on walks, take kids to the park, and be supportive when the pressures of being military families were keenly felt.  We were often seen chatting in front yards, bouncing babies on our hips, and pausing every 4 minutes or so as little trainer planes flew overhead, temporarily drowning out conversation.  We made some of our very best friends during our stay in Columbus, and keep in close contact with most of them.

The pilot training part was horrible.  In an effort to weed out less capable or dedicated potential pilots, the Air Force is not kind to it's students there.  It seemed their goal to make grown men cry, and hang their hopes and dreams of flight on a tangible thread, ready to break at any second.  Perhaps that's why everyone was so friendly.  It's a stressful time endured by all, which created a natural bond everyone shared.  Despite that deeply rooted stress and the trials that came with it, my memories of Columbus are fond ones.

I'd like to go back to the roses that were planted in front of our half of the little duplex we stayed in.  Those outside of the military may or may not know know this, but if a serviceman chooses to live off base, he receives a housing allowance.  If he lives on base, he does not get that allowance, but his housing there is free.  Because the housing is free, you'd expect most families wouldn't put forth much effort in upkeep.  While that tends to be true with welfare provided government housing, from my small bit of experience I saw it wasn't the case with the tenants of base military housing.  Other than mowing the lawn regularly, and keeping the indoors clean and undamaged, there were no rules or requirements to keep.  However families often put a surprising amount of effort into those temporary homes.  They painted walls, planted grass, added flowerbeds, or in our case, roses.  I was very touched when I thought of the people who lived in our home before us, and planted those three rose bushes.  They obviously planted them knowing they wouldn't see them for very long.  I saw it as a selfless act of kindness towards me, someone they'd never meet or know.  He or she may not have planted them specifically for me, but they didn't have to plant them at all, and I benefited from their efforts.  The bushes were obviously well tended.  During our first Easter in Columbus, there were big blossoms, a perfect blend of pink and yellow.  A sweet coincidence - they just happened to be colored the same as the roses I carried in my bridal bouquet.  I will always be grateful to that nameless stranger, who shared with us her roses.

Here's a picture we took on Anny's first Easter Sunday, in front of one of the pretty bushes.  By the time we left Columbus, that bush had grown tall enough to see it from the windows inside, and the blossoms were the size of salad plates!

Inspired by those first rose bushes in Columbus, I've decided to set a tradition.  Even though we're living off base for this assignment, and as our family grows that will most likely be the most convenient choice, in each new home we have, with each new military move, I too will plant roses.  If possible I will plant them in the front yard, by the front windows.  Realistically I know we may not always live in locations where roses thrive.  But where I can, I want to pass on the same kind gesture that was shown me.  I also like the romantic thought that we will leave a trail of roses behind us as we move every 3-5 years.

I planted a little red bush in front of my girls' bedroom window last year, and to my delight, it flourished.  I was worried our sandy soil would lack the necessary nutrients for a bush to grow, but it's doubled in height and size!  Due to last years success, I planted 3 more bushes in the front yard, and 2 in the back.  Here are some pictures of our new little friends.  May they bring happiness to all who live here!

  This one was described as pale pink, but I think it's more of a lavender, very pretty.  

 Look at how beautiful this blossom is!!  It makes me happy every time I go outside and see it!  

I was only going to get two more bushes for the front yard, but this ambitious little pink one with the one tall branch reaching for the stars, was calling my name.  I couldn't leave her there!  

             This is the first bloom to show from the red bush I planted last year.  Sweet and promising!   

Christmas 'aint the same without you . . .

I admittedly had my doubts about this Christmas. We had plans for lots of guests and lots of driving, all right before Daddy leaves us for lots of time. I imagined myself being stressed, tired, uncomfortable, and heartsick (knowing Scott will be getting ready to leave soon after the holidays). However I was pleasantly surprised. While there were lots of guests and plenty of driving, with all of that came lots of fun, love, and good memories. We stayed up many late hours talking, watching movies, playing games, finishing last minute gifts, and bonding. I got to meet my new baby niece, new soon-to-be sister in law, and introduce everyone to our breathless beaches that some of them even dared to swim in. To those native Mainers, the water was actually quite nice. Us Floridians smiled and took pictures on the sand in our sweaters and jeans, while they splashed and laughed in their bathing suits, soaking up that green-blue water. Together all those memories created quite the Christmas to remember and love. Our home seems quiet and empty without all the extra family and guests. Here's a slideshow I put together illustrating just some of the great moments we had. If you think this is a lot of photos, you should see how many great shots I had to painstakingly choose from!

I dedicate this slideshow to our Daddy. There's no way any of these memories would have been sweet and wonderful to me if you weren't there every moment, helping me out around the house, and showing gratitude in every way you knew how. It wouldn't have been the same without you, and next year when you're scheduled to be away, "not the same" wont quite describe how empty our December will feel.

Hurricanes

Many of you probably heard about Hurricane Ida, not because it was dangerous but because it was the only hurricane to hit the US this year, so the news channels got a little excited. I'll admit even I had my nervous moments as the storm blew closer, and voluntary evacuation orders for our area went out. I double checked our 72 hour kits, and kept several storm watch internet windows open. Thankfully it came and went over our home as little more than a windy, stormy night. The next day skies were gray, the seas were a bit high, but the area was safe. We visited the beach and admired a view of unusually high, rough waves and cool strong winds. Staring out at the sea causes many to pause and ponder about life. In my gratitude this storm was mild, my thoughts of course turned to what I was most grateful for. There's a much read scripture in the Book of Mormon. It's in 3 Nephi 14, verses 24 and 25. They are words spoken by the Savior during his visit to the Americas, after his death and resurrection in Israel.

24 Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—
25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.

The "rock" of course represents the Savior and his gospel. My thoughts turned to what are protected in that "house upon a rock". Everything that is most precious to me is in my home. Thankfully they are also what I can bring with me should we need to evacuate- my family. By "house" the scripture isn't referring to a structure, but to our families, the most important thing we build, fortify, and love. Occasionally it takes a storm or even hurricane to remind us what is most precious. The rough rains and winds tear down worldly walls, and cause us to focus all our energy on protecting what is most dear. I'm grateful the strength our faith in the Savior and obedience to his laws brings to our family. In a way, I'm even grateful for hurricanes.

Here's a slideshow of family visits to the ocean, ending with our stop at the beach after Hurricane Ida. It may be difficult to see the difference in the photos, but the waves that day were very high for our usually mild, quiet beach on the gulf. We've seen days where the beachfront water is as smooth and clear as glass. Have that in your mind when you look at the rough waves in those later photos!

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