Friday, February 17, 2012

Soak in the Daddy Time!

After 8 wonderful uninterrupted months together, the time has come where Daddy has to deploy again.  I'm so grateful for the timing of his last homecoming, and for this long break with him home, that I feel guilty being sad this day has come.  I was talking with my mom the other day though, and she gave some insightful advice.  Not a rare thing for my mom, many of you have probably heard me repeat sound wisdom from her.  She said she's realized we really can't control what we feel.  We feel what we feel!

Emotional pain is like physical pain.  When or how it happens is not within our control. Imagine if an OB doctor told a mother in labor, that she shouldn't be feeling pain.  It's all in her head.  I think if such a doctor existed, he wouldn't live long! Of course her pain is real!  She can't decide whether she feels pain or not.  There are coping strategies for pain.  Lamaze classes, right?  However I think most mothers who have actually experienced childbirth will admit such classes are beautiful in theory . . . but when you're in the delivery room, and it's all so much worse than you ever imagined, you consider strangling the nurse who's reminding you to breathe in patterns!  You can't control what you feel, and it isn't easy to control how you react to feelings either.

Despite the thousands of books written on emotional health, and millions of dollars spent on therapy, I think when it comes to painful experiences we know are coming- most of us follow a universal 3 step approach:

1. Dread
2. Acceptance
3. Endurence

So while experiencing phase 1 during the last few days Daddy is home, we're trying our best to not be too distracted by the process, so we can enjoy what time we have left before steps 2 and 3.

Last Sunday I stayed home with Merrylee and Ben who were fighting colds, so it was just Anny and Daddy at church together.  Daddy said she was a very good girl.  I curled her hair, she looked very grown up and pretty.        

Daddy had an old ROTC buddy call up and say he was driving through our area, so he meet him for dinner in Pensacola, and took Merrylee with him.  Being the middle child, she doesn't get a lot of individual parent time.  She felt very special to be the only one accompanying him, and was excited to have Dad all to herself.  
Baby Ben will probably go through the most changes while Daddy is gone, so he's tried to spend a little extra time with him too.  Some might argue 8 months is a little early for ice cream.  Ben didn't complain though, and there's no way Daddy was going to miss sharing that first bite of Bryers Mint Chocolate Chip.

So phase 1 hasn't been too horrible.  Wish us luck for 2 and 3.  I don't think I'll be in the mood to blog about them.


  1. Well, that wise mother is trying to find a weekend to come for a visit while Daddy is away. More on that later.

  2. Deployments suck! Not trying to be negative, but they do suck! =) Dave left on Valentine's Day - how romantic is that! Good luck during this deployment. It usually helps me to stay super busy!
    Love to you all!

  3. I agree with Angela. Deployments suck! I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling sad about it. Give yourself some time to be sad and don't beat yourself up about it. Then get busy and hopefully that will help the time to pass. Sure love you guys. If you need someone to or email because I'd love to catch up. :)

  4. Atleast you have these cute pictures to buoy you up while he's gone. :) Cutie pies, they are.

    Also, something to help pass the time: Downton Abbey on netflix. Think you'll like it.

  5. I've never had to deal with a deployment, crazy. But Ryan is leaving for 2 months on an intern and I am needing to gear up for that, you experienced ladies will need to give me some advice! Glad your girls got a little one on one with their Daddy. Anny looks so old and is just so pretty! Merrylee is a doll and looks just like her Daddy!

  6. It's never too early to introduce a baby boy to ice cream. I'm pretty sure we let Ryan eat some off daddy's finger when he was only 3 months. It's a special moment. We continue to pray for your entire family, daily. Love you so much.