Pretty Nerdy Mommy

Another form of relief

2012-01-24T15:06:00.000-06:00

Last post I tried to provide a little heartfelt encouragement, in the best way I knew how. It concerned feeding the soul, and finding solace through Christ. Now for a lighter yet often effective form of relief- humor.

I dare you to watch this video and not laugh, or at least smile!

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Special thanks to Anny, and the laughter we've had at her expense. She giggles at this video now though, so I figured she wouldn't mind if I shared. In her defense, she was a little tired from trick-or-treating (that's a lot of walking for a 5 year old) and she'd been going at that doughnut for about 5 minutes before she'd finally had enough. I think it's safe to say she put the old adage "when at first you don't succeed, try, try, try again" to the test, and found it to be lacking in this case.

Where can I turn?

2012-01-19T01:41:00.000-06:00

This week I've been thinking much about some people very close to me. Some dear friends, who are going through some very sad or difficult things. I know they are crying. I know they are sad, and lonely. I want to fix it. I wish so much I could take their pain away. But I cannot. I do not have that power. I know someone who can though.

I believe in Christ. I can testify that he lives. He knows us individually. He feels our pain, and suffers with us. Though we cannot see him, we can feel his love for us when we pray. He can heal all wounds, and comfort all who stand in need of comfort. He is the greatest relief there is, to any trial, or grief, or sadness. He suffered all pain, and knows every heartache, because he experienced them all during his great atonement for us. It is only through him that we will find real peace in anything.

I sent some things to my friends in need this week. A package of things I hope are comforting, white flowers to help uplift and cheer somewhat. However that just doesn't feel like enough. It's like a doctor, giving condolences and sympathy to a sick patient, but no prescription or treatment. I felt I had to pass on what I know of real treatment, real peace and comfort. The very best comfort I feel I can give, is the message that Jesus Christ loves us. He is not merely a good feeling, or a theory or nice idea. He is a real, living, resurrected being, who gives true and lasting comfort and healing. He will help. He loves you. Read his words. Lose yourself in meaningful prayer. You will feel that he is there, and you are not alone.

As I was writing this, I could hear the words to the hymn Where Can I turn for Peace fill my mind. You can listen to it here. Below are the lyrics:

Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When, with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows?
Where, when I languish?
Where, in my need to know?
Where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately.
Reaches my reaching.
In my Gethsemane, Savior, and friend.
Gentle, the peace He finds
For my beseeching.
Constant He is, and kind.

Love without end.

This song is dear to me. It could be because I grew up singing it, and that makes it comforting to me. However I think it's the words that make it so sweet. I remember one Sunday at church, in which I was particularly sad about something. It was time for the congregation to sing the closing hymn. Lost in my thoughts I flipped to the page and started to sing. My mind was drawn to the lyrics, and the music seemed to fill my heart, and put words to what I was feeling. I sang the words

Where can I turn for peace? Where, in my need to know? Where can I run? Who, who can understand?

Then I saw the song answer it's lyrics and my inner thoughts and questions, and found I couldn't sing, but only whisper the response, He, only One.

To my sweet friends during this time, and to anyone else I know who might be concealing a secret pain or trial, please know I love you. I will not pretend I understand or know what you're going through, but the Savior does, and I'm praying you will feel his everlasting love, that it will fill your heart and carry you through these times of need. Constant He is, and kind. Love without end.

May your days be bright

2012-01-01T22:31:00.000-06:00

My DH has a sort of talent I covet. He easily forgets bad memories. Arugments we've had, unfortunate events from the past, he can't remember them. They never happened. He doesn't just choose not to bring them up- he somehow manages to erase them. I've in a laughing mood, tried to recall with him disagreements from our past, and he thinks I made them up. He cannot remember them. Fortunate man!

I am usually not so fortunate, and can recall a little too perfectly how things I don't wish to remember, went down. However when I look back on 2011, I'm overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude. Even if I try, I cannot focus on a memory where I was heartbroken, downtrodden, or miserable. I suppose there were some, no one is safe from hard times, but all that comes to mind is seeing my husband walk through the door, early from a deployment, the day before Benjamin was born. I recall the girls hands and mouths stained red from strawberries we picked together, and can remember they were the sweetest, freshest berries I'd ever had. I think of the happy, sleepy look on Merrylee's face as she awoke on her third birthday, and realized what day it was. I can see Anny during family scripture study at our family reunion, staring at the 4th of July fireworks from the beachouse window, too distracted and excited to hear our devotional. I remember my brothers, father, and a few good friends, standing in a circle, holding our baby boy, as my husband gave him a name and a blessing. It was a year abundant in happiness, culminating in a Christmas Season with Daddy home and our family together. I've been blessed to only remember the good things, and there were so many good things this year. Those good things come from one source, and it's to Him, our Savior, Jesus Christ, that we are grateful, and who we celebrate. Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. May your 2012 be bright!

Special thanks to my talented sister, Katie, the pianst who provided the music for this slideshow. Not included here are pictures from a visit to Virginia. We had a wonderful time, but forgot our camera.

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I want to run through the halls of my highschool . . .

2011-12-13T00:01:00.000-06:00

I've been watching ABC's new show Once Upon a Time. For the most part I've enjoyed it. I like the fairy tale element, and am a true lover of a good fantasy story. In one thing with this show I've been extremely dissapointed though, and it's been stewing in my mind for weeks now. What I wish to write about today, concerns the Prince Charmings.

The basis of the show is how the evil witch who haunts Snow White, has moved all fairy tale characters to our modern world, where she can doom them to misery and dominate them. There are flashback scenes in the fairy tale world, intermixed with scenes showing how our beloved characters, cursed with no memory of who they used to be, are dealing with modern times.

In the beautiful fairy tale world, the Prince Charmings don't vary much from how we've always known them. They are dashing, chivalrous, honorable, selfless, and kind. Protecting the innocent and those who cannot help themselves, they are heros who bravely fight dragons, monsters, wicked soldiers and witches.  Always great leaders, their knights trust them and promise unfailing loyalty. They are ferocious in battle, yet demonstrate softer sides where they adore their beautiful princess brides, even enough to wait until their wedding nights for intimacy.  They are family men who want to have children, and would die to protect anyone they love.

The actors who play the prince charming characters are the same men in the "real world" settings. However just as their outfits change, so do their characters.  They are just as dashing, but not half as honorable. Cinderella's man is a son from a rich family, who has gotten her pregnant at 19, abandoned her, and allowed his father to make illegal adoption plans for the unborn child, against Ella's will. Our prince stands idly by, only to make a last minute appearance in the hospital after poor Ella went through labor alone.  He oh-so-sweetly sits by Ella's side, and promises he'll never leave her again. He doesn't even offer a better-late-than-never marriage proposal, but rather a pathetic promise reminiscent of most trashy dads who sire illegitimate children with teenage girls. That hospital scene is set to sweet music, and illustrated as beautiful, possibly worth a glistening tear.

Snow White's prince is a little better, but not by much.  His story hasn't concluded, but it doesn't look too promising. So far he has woken from a coma, and in his new life in our world, he's a married man suffering from amnesia, and falling in love with Snow White. Did I mention Snow White is not his wife?  He still feels some connection with Snow though, and convinces her he has plans to leave his wife to be with her. Awwww. Every mother's wish, right? For her daughter to marry a man to who's broken his current home to start up again.  How sweet. I'm sure this time his promises are sincere. In case you can't read between the lines, I'm laying on the sarcasm pretty thick. Snow White's prince does suddenly "remember" his past, and decides not to leave his wife after all - but not before he's given great heartache to both his wife and Snow White, leaving one confused and the other devastated.

These type of men do exist. I'm not arguing the true-to-reality fact there.  My problem is these are the type of men we are painting as modern day prince charmings. How sad. How pathetic. While the readers of my blog are probably the choir I'm preaching to, I feel I must put my voice out there, and proclaim that prince charmings of the fairy tale world exist. They are real!  There are honorable men, in every way as wonderful as the men we read about in story books. There are good men, with good hearts, living clean lives, who wish to provide and protect, who love kids, and will devote themselves to you and your family forever! It is not a fantasy!!

"The hunt" is a lesser known secret though- one I wish to reveal here. These glorious men are not waiting in singles bars, or at the club. You're not likely to simply run into a prince on the street either. Good men are found in good places, doing good things. They're at church, or serving as the volunteer coach on the soccer field, or helping out at a charity function. Get involved in those kinds of things, and you'll run into them. Live worthy of these men by livng lives similar to theirs, and they'll fall in love with you, and stay in love.

John Mayer sings a song I laugh at, called No Such Thing. Fans of his, forgive me, I don't hate the guy, just this particular song. I think it's silly. In the chorus he says:

I want to run through the halls of my highschool
I want to scream at the top of my lungs!
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
It's just something they try to lie about.

I laugh at this, because obviously for him there's no such thing as the "real world". He's a successful rockstar! Whatever reality he lives in has nothing to do with the world the rest of us experience. Anyway, the song comes to mind here. I too want to run through the halls of my highschool, and scream at the top of my lungs. I want to yell to all the young girls there the amazing news that Prince Charmings are real! They are real and waiting for women who are living like them. So be like them!!! Impress them, and be irrisitable by living honorable, chaste, sweet lives like the princesses in the stories. Be smart, be kind, be clean, be honest, be involved, be positive, be true. Live beautifully, and find yourself frequently in the places these great men are found. They will see you there, and they will seek you out. They will love you, and cherrish you, and will make you happy. Did I mention they'll marry you before they love you too much?

I can't physically run through my highschool's halls, the security guards would kick me out. Consider this post my scream though, and pass this on to any woman searching. If you're the one searching but feel you aren't currently living the life of a princess worthy of the men I described, then change! Become worthy, and live your life so you can recognize a good prince when you see him. Then go to the right places to seek him out. Don't give up on your search until you do. A good prince will fight for you, go do the same for him. He's worth it. Beleive me, I know. I happen to be speaking from beautiful, wonderful, long lasting experience.

menu, shopping list, plus some tips and tricks I've gathered in the last 7 years

2011-11-15T12:00:00.000-06:00

My first semester in college and away from home, my mom emailed me her Thanksgiving menu and shopping list. I thought that was so cool. I have an exceptional mother. I copy her a lot - hence this post.

Thanksgiving is my DH's very favorite holiday. He spent last years' big day overseas with a bunch of dudes, not ideal, to say the least. So the pressure is on to get it right for him this year! He's gettin' the boys from church ready for some flag football, and then later no doubt he'll watch some games with Ben on TV, while I'm prepping up for some serious kitchen time. I'm making my list, checking it twice, and the kiddos and I are making the trip to walmart after music lessons today!! Wish me luck!

The Florida Andrews Family

Thanksgiving Day Menu

Oven Roasted Turkey with Stuffing

Mushroom Gravy

Dairy Free Mashed Potatoes

Candied Yams with Marshmallows

Baked Asparagus

Relish Tray

Oranged Cranberry Sauce

Crescent Rolls

Pumpkin Pie

Apple Pie

Lemon Meringue Pie

Sparkling Cider

The Shopping List

I read a few years ago a great tip for making your shopping lists. The tip was to divide your list into four categories (I quarter my handwritten list by making a line down the middle top to bottom, and then one left to right). The categories are Produce, Cold Items, Dry/Canned or Bottled Items, and Non-Food Items. I simplify with Pro, Cold, Dry, and Non. This has saved me so much time while shopping. I don't have to do a lot of back and forth around the store while going through my list!

So, thus categorized, here it is:

Pro

Oranges

2 lbs Cranberries

baby carrots

celery

mushrooms

1 bag apples

2-3 lemons

asparagus

cherry tomatoes

Cold

orange juice

turkey

unsalted butter

Pillsbury crescent rolls

cream cheese

1 pre-made pie crust

heavy cream

whipped cream

egg nog

Dry

Sparkling Cider

Artichokes

baby dill pickles

baby sweet pickles

smoked oysters

hearts of palm

canned yams

graham cracker crumb pie crust

16 oz can pumpkin puree

dark brown sugar

turkey gravy packet

Stovetop stuffing mix

marshmallows

Non

candlesticks

dishwasher soap

Last year I discovered this recipe for Oranged Cranberry Sauce. It's amazingly tasty. It's a Jamaican recipe, and includes cinnamon. It's my latest change to my evolving menu. I'd also like to note that my dairy free mashed potatoes are my own recipe, and they're fabulous. I bet if you did a blind test with mine and the dairy version, you wouldn't know which is which!

I still don't feel like I've mastered turkey roasting. If you have tips to share, please pass them on!!

I'll save a gratitude post for another time, but at the top of my list is having a husband home to cook for. His favorite holiday just isn't as fun without him.

Shining for the whole world to see . . .

2011-10-05T22:19:00.001-05:00

A good friend gave me this cute bib for Ben.

Here's a few more glamour shots of our new little star shining brightly.

Little blue chair for our little blue man.

He loves his big sisters, and they're crazy about him!

How can we not adore this perfect little face?

our holistic classroom

2011-09-23T02:55:00.000-05:00

It's 11:30 pm, and my baby is asleep. I haven't had more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep in months now, and I'm beyond exhausted. My limbs feel heavy, and my eyes have developed an unattractive puffiness. Yet here I sit, typing away. I actually don't want to go to bed right now. I want to write, and share my thoughts with you. Perhaps I'm too tired to make wise and healthy decisions. Maybe I spend a little too much time at home sitting on my couch nursing and taking care of children, and this is my necessary window into the outside world. Most likely it's a combination of both.

As I wait for the photos from my new camera to load onto my computer, please allow me to ruminate about my slowly growing knowledge of the homeschool experience. Some of you may know about my decision to keep Anny home for Kindergarten this year. I haven't decided how long we will homeschool. Circumstances are always changing- our location, our family size and situation, my patience level with my kids, their tolerance of me, the quality of local schools and teachers, and the list goes on. Each year we'll reassess our situation, and decide. This year the decision was to start at home.

I like order, organization, and structure. I have learned from experience that they are crucial to a successful school with classes of children. I spent some time at a school that abandoned those things, and watched it fail miserably. It was painful to teach there. However to my surprise, in our little homeschool, I've found the opposite is true. Structure, order and hours of lesson planning are not only unnecessary, but detrimental.  I don't need to teach that way, and shouldn't.

I am enjoying a holistic style of education with my girls. We don't have a schedule or cement routine. We do a little math from a workbook, then bake cookies and talk about measurements. Anny's sentence structure and handwriting practice can be in the form of a letter to Grandma, and her science lesson is with Daddy as they look up the weather radar of an approaching tropical storm. The girls ask questions, and we stop what we're doing to explore the answers. I incorporate housework with studies whenever I can.  Merrylee and I can listen to Anny read while I'm on the couch nursing Ben. Today I found a huge snail on our driveway, so we had a hands on, exploratory biology lesson. Anny's long list of "why" questions don't detract from the lesson, they are the lesson.  We go with the flow, and it's wonderful.

Don't worry, I'm not completely without structure. I've looked up the FL core curriculum, and make long term goals, and order materials to align with them.  We have textbooks. I got to choose them though, and I chose books that are interesting,and incorporate children's literature into the lessons.  They are tools though, and we set them aside to discuss and explore when it feels right. My mom's advice as I started teaching was to relax. If we're having a rough day, put the workbooks away and read a story, pop in an educational dvd, or better yet, leave the house and visit the playground.  She said to enjoy being together.  It has taken a bit out of me to abandon my training of order and intense planning. I know my children though, so the adapting and tailor-fitting of lessons has been a surprisingly easy job. The organization in a way was already there, it's just a little more instantaneous than planning for a group of 25 children from 25 different homes.

Here are some pictures of some science adventures we've had. We purchased Painted Lady caterpillars, and learned about their life cycle.  After watching them form chrysalises and miraculously emerge as butterflies, this week we set them free in our backyard. There are also some photos of Dad helping the girls with a little turtle rescue experience. He found this poor guy trapped by the fence in our backyard.  Dad held him so the girls could check him out, and they watched him walk in the yard a bit. Then they put him in a tupperware with a little water, and walked about a half a mile to a nearby stream. It's hard to see the stream in the pictures, but as soon as our little green friend heard that rushing water, he seemed to instinctively know he was home, and headed straight for it.  Dad had a very full Saturday, but he knows a good teaching opportunity when he sees one, and felt the yard work, college football, and prep for Sunday church meetings could wait. I love that man.

Several hours have passed since I first sat down to write this entry.  I've now been interrupted by a coughing three-year old, a smiling and very awake, very cute baby boy, and a dime sized frog I caught hopping across the carpet. He's now climbing the side of an overturned glass I grabbed from the kitchen. Can anyone guess what we'll be studying for science tomorrow? Hey- he dared to enter my house, he suffers the consequences of study and observation by two pairs of curious little eyes before being set free.

Another sleepless night. It looks like my puffy eyed look will continue, as does my busy, crazy, unorganized, unstructured, yet happy and full life.

Look at Anny's skirt and you can see a butterfly that just flew out!

The turtle is just to the left of the bottom middle of the picture.

Be free little guy!

Meet the world's cutest little naturalists!

Pass the Hinny Minny's please!

2011-09-01T11:43:00.000-05:00

All kids mispronounce things. It's a part of speech development, and pretty cute. Sometimes I think the way my girls have mispronounced certain words, are actually an improvement on them. We've come to use the improved version in our everyday speech at home. If you ever hear us use the improvements instead of the official word, I have provided the Andrews Sisters-English translation below, for your own personal reference.

For your convenience, I've listed the words in alphabetical order.

Binanan (Banana)
Dusting Panner (Dust pan)
Hinny Minny's (Frosted Mini Wheats)
Hoopa-loop (Hula-hoop)
Lellow (Yellow)
Marshlellow (Marshmellow)

It's a short but cute list. After all, we do have smart little girls who love to talk, so mispronunciations aren't in a great abundance. I'm not actually convinced that's what these are, to be honest. They're more like creative interpretations of the words. Feel free to add them to your own vocabulary!

Now if you'll please excuse me, I need to go use the dusting panner to finish sweeping up the breakfast mess my girls made from marshlellow and Hinny Minny cereals. I'd ask Anny to help me, but she's busy using her binanan lellow hoopa-loop.

the Patience

2011-08-17T23:16:00.007-05:00

The cute but seemingly clueless Italian admirer of Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner gave her a surprising bit of wisdom that I found myself repeatedly quoting in my head tonight. He said to her, "You need to learn the patience. Sometimes love, is just love"

I'm not sure exactly what the "love is just love" part meant, but over and over I've been repeating in my head, "you need to learn the patience".

The phrase "parenthood requires patience" is sort of a burned out phrase. We all hear it, and think, "well yes, of course it does."

However I always imagined that meant being patient when your toddler wakes up with nightmares, being patient when milk is spilled on the floor, patiently teaching your kids to clean up their toys, or not argue. Those occasions do require patience, it's true, and yet they don't even begin to describe the word.

There are many "Patience is . . . . stories we all can tell about our kids. Here's mine for tonight.

Patience is when your daughter is Reading Hop on Pop, and on every 8 word page, she pauses to analyze the picture for 30 seconds, reads the words, comments on the picture,"Look! They're hopping on his tummy!!! That's so silly!"
and then asks a question about it, with the expectation of a fully drawn out answer.

Anny:"Why are they hopping on their Dad?"
Me:"I don't know, to be silly I guess"
Anny: "Don't they know it can hurt?"
Me: "Maybe they didn't think about that"
Anny: "Why wouldn't they think about that?"
Me: "I'm not sure. Maybe they're naughty kids"
Anny: "Why are they naughty kids?"
Me: "I don't know Anny, it's just a story"
Anny: "Don't they love their Daddy? Jumping on him is not nice..."

At this point I have turned the page, looking at the remaining 30 or so pages left, and thinking over and over, "the patience, the patience, you need to learn the patience...."

I didn't start the book with this attitude. I opened it with anticipation, thinking "I'm pretty sure she can read this, I love my daughter, she's so smart, this is going to be so fun hearing her read the bedtime story all by herself!"

On the first page as she scans the picture I think, "Look at her analyzing the scene, that's a sign of great reading comprehension, and something I should encourage!"

However by page 32, we've gone through a similar routine 32 times, varied occasionally by her fixing her hair for a minute, and then pausing to scratch her foot. Then she'll begin again to analyze the picture, read the words, and have an in depth conversation about it. If Merrylee interrupts her we sometimes get to go through the routine twice per page, because she gets distracted and feels she must begin again. No need to remind her she's already scanned this picture, after all- this is a sign of great reading comprehension, and something I should encourage, right???

There are 64 pages in that book.

I love Dr. Seuss, but what was he thinking?!!! Obviously he never had kids. Ten pages would have been generous.

I could create an entire new blog dedicated to Patience is ... parenting moments. Perhaps I could do one about how a short blog entry takes two hours to write because every five minutes my baby starts fussing and wants to be held, and typing with one hand is hard.

Sometimes being a mother is delightful, and blissfully sweet.

Sometimes blissfully sweet takes too long, it's an hour past bedtime, and Mom's exhausted.

Someday I will learn "the patience". Maybe.

my personal trainers

2011-08-08T17:20:00.000-05:00

While doing my postpartum workout today, I realized something funny I consistently do. I make friends with my DVD workout trainers. Obviously we don't go out for sodas or have playdates with our kids (although that'd be so cool if we could!) However while pulling my knees to my chest, completing the last stretch in today's workout, Erin O'Brien grinned and said, "You did it!" and I replied with my own smile, and said with a sigh, "thanks Erin!"

I didn't say it just to be cute. There was no one else in the room, who would I be sounding cute for? I felt sincere gratitude for Erin coaching me through the workout, and found myself thinking, "That Erin, I really like her. She's cool. She's my friend."

In my defense we do see each other almost every day - every day I find time to workout anyway. She gives me advice, tells me a bit about her life, and motivates me to be a better person. That's what friends do, right? It just so happens she says and does the same things every time we're together. That and I paid $13.99 for her friendship.

I'm not crazy. Not yet anyway, although with the extreme shortage of sleep that comes with raising two little girls and a newborn, I'm probably close. I can't blame this behavior on that though, because I've felt the same way about my other DVD trainers, who I knew and worked with back in the days I used to get plenty of sleep. Denise Austin was my girl during my last pregnancy, as we did low impact aerobics, and she coached me through special workouts for the second and third trimesters. Erin O'Brien is my new friend now. I used to use the Wii Active Personal Trainer program, and I even felt grateful for the motivation given by the animated digital trainers. They'd respond to my motions with pre-recorded phrases like, "way to go!" or "I can tell you've been working on that" and "I know you can do this!", and I'd nod my head and say, "Yeah! You're right, I can do this!"

Perhaps this is a sign I need to get out of the house more often. I probably would enjoy an aerobics class with real people, and adults to converse with. Classes cost money though, and don't answer the question of what to do with the kiddos. With my DVD and Wii workouts, I can nurse Benjamin, put the girls down for naps, cram a bologna sandwich, and then pop in a DVD before everyone wakes up and needs me again. I can exercise on my schedule (or lack of) without leaving the house. The convenience is too immense to attempt anything else.

Exercising releases positive hormones, and that bit of time dedicated to just me feels so great! I'm happier on the days I workout, and have more patience with my messy house and noisy kids. Can I help it if gratitude for my improved mood goes to the friendly TV image of a trainer who is guiding me down the path of a healthier, stronger, more energetic me?

So thanks guys. Thanks Denise, thank you Erin, and thank you Wii digital person who has no name! This post is dedicated to you. You guys are #1 in my book, even though you don't know me, or don't really exist.

I'm a rapper!

2011-07-18T19:37:00.000-05:00

OK- wrapper. Baby wrapper, to be specific.

One would assume by the third baby, I'd have a routine set in place, know what I like, and how to handle the whole new baby experience. You know what they say about people who assume!

With each new baby, things change. Circumstances have obviously changed. I now have three kids instead of two. That's definitely challenging. I still don't feel comfortable in those shoes, as my messy house and worn out husband can say. Shout out to my DH who although is now back to work, still takes on a huge chunk of the household chores. He's a dreamboat, I know.

Products change. Because just about every baby item we owned was in some shade of pink, we had to get a few new things. To my surprise the same things I used with the girls aren't the same anymore. Even my favorite brand of binkys (mam) have changed their design. There are also new products to try out. I'm a shopper, and baby things are a special favorite of mine to buy, so I find this part of having a new little one fun!

I always liked the theory of front packs and slings.

1. You can keep your baby close to you all the time
2. Baby is comforted and happy being so close to mom, and less likely to cry or act colicky
3. Your hands are free

I've had two different slings, and haven't managed any of the above. I never felt confident my baby wouldn't tumble out, and the whole experience felt awkward. Front packs strain my back and neck, and make me feel achy and cramped after 30 minutes or so of use.

Enter my latest discovery in the world of baby products- the Moby Wrap

I love my new Moby wrap. It's a simple design, basically a long piece of stretchy knit cotton. If you're ambitious enough you could probably make your own. I'm not ambitious enough. I paid for my lack of ambition, as this company charges a lot for a long piece of stretchy cotton, but I'm so happy with this wrap, I don't mind! The link will show how exactly to wrap it around you and how baby fits in, but it's not complicated. Benjamin feels secure, and I really can use both my hands. He likes being snuggled close to me, and fell asleep pretty quickly once he was tucked in. Best of all, his weight is distributed well on my back. It's not tugging on just my shoulders, neck, etc. I don't feel sore or achy, and I've had it on for a few hours. I'm actually typing this entry while wearing it! Ben is still sleeping comfortably, snuggled against my chest. I'm now a wrapper! I may change my tune as he gets bigger and heavier, although the workout will be good for me. The little pamphlet that came with the wrap even illustrates exercises I can do while wearing my baby. I haven't tried them yet, but plan to!

Here's the wrap from the front. Merrylee's stretched hand is right where I tied the ends of the fabric at my right hip.

Here you can see how the fabric crosses on my back, helping distribute Benjamin's weight well.

Here's a closer view of his little face peeking out. However I have the best view. I can glance down and see his cheek resting on his tiny hands, and easily kiss the top of his head, all while doing the dishes, vacuuming, or playing wii.

Baby, completely, wrapped up in you

2011-06-20T12:40:00.003-05:00

I wish I was good at telling stories, because this is great story, and deserves to be told well. Sometimes I can describe something well, when I've had time to think, plan, and rewrite a few times. Right now however I hardly have time to eat, so I'm afraid a quick summary and spellcheck are all the effort I have time for. fyi, I will occasionally use the acronym "DH" for "dear husband" to simplify a little.

June 9, 2011
I had a routine OB appointment, at 35 weeks into my pregnancy. Things looked healthy and normal. My cervix was dilated to 1", but that's not uncommon at 35-36 weeks along. My doctor said all that meant is "you probably wont deliver this week".

Ok. "Probably."

I took that with a grain of salt, and a bit of worry, as my husband wasn't due home from his deployment for a little over a week. I would have rather heard news that I was showing no signs of labor at all. I didn't want a "your baby probably wont come before your husband does", I wanted a guarantee. Life offers no such thing.

I visited a few friends, and complained I was getting a little worried. I emailed my DH, giving him the details of the appointment. He responded the way he had been lately, with promises that he'll get home on time. The promises felt empty to me, and made me feel frustrated. He's not the type to give empty promises. I knew he didn't want me to worry, and worrying can actually bring on stress and early labor, but still, I felt I needed to mentally prepare for the possibility I'd be delivering my baby alone. Promises that that wouldn't happen when I knew it very well could, weren't comforting to me.

Fast forward to about midnight. The girls were in bed, and I was up re-reading Breaking Dawn. It was a nice distraction, and I was waiting to video chat with my DH, who said he'd be online around that time. I heard the ring of the video call, and came to sit at the computer. We talked a little about my appointment, and he again started reassuring me he'd be there on time. That brought my concerns a little closer to the surface than I'd hoped, and I started to cry, asking him why he kept promising something he couldn't be sure about.  Deployments are hard on both of us, and I try to make a sincere effort not to cry on the phone or on video chats. It doesn't make for a positive experience for either of us when that happens. I try to save the tears for after we hang up. This time though the pregnancy hormones and all my worry took over.

My DH smiled, and said he really wasn't making promises he couldn't keep. I looked at him exasperated, wondering why I really had to explain how I can't control when the baby comes any more than he can control when he gets to come home. He smiled again, and said, "what if I told you if you went into labor right now, I would be there?"

I stopped crying. Again more smiles on his end, and he told me to come open the front door. He was standing there holding his laptop, using our own wi-fi signal to chat with me from outside. His commander let him come home early, and he thought it'd be a nice surprise if he shared that news by showing up at our door.  He was right.

June 10, 2011
The next morning, we discovered Daddy wasn't the only man in the family with surprises and early arrival plans. I was feeling consistent contractions that weren't letting up.  Due to nesting urges I'd been having that week, my hospital bag was packed and ready, and I had made plans for our girls with friends. Thanks to some sweet and amazing young women from church, my house was clean and spotless. If my husband was caught off guard, he didn't show it. No doubt still feeling the effects of jet lag, he dug through his deployment bags for a few toiletries, and we took off for the hospital.

June 11, 2011, 1:57 am
Benjamin Scott arrived. He was 4 1/2 weeks early, but weighed in at 6 lbs 2 oz, a healthy weight considering his premature timing.

We're all very tired and a little shell shocked, but happy to all be together. Benjamin fits right in like he's always been here. We love every tiny toe and finger.

Before I knew my husband would be coming home, I did a lot of praying and soul searching. I did my very best to make peace with the idea that I could be on my own in that delivery room.  When I prayed about it, I felt peaceful, and a reassurance that if that happened, I'd have the strength and help I'd need. Faith comes before the blessings. I was grateful to know I could do it, and even more grateful when I found out I wouldn't have to.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit on the couch, maybe fall asleep on my husband's shoulder, snuggle my baby, and enjoying being completely wrapped up and surrounded by the people I love most. Moments like that shouldn't be taken for granted.

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Belly Button out of Joint

2011-06-02T19:23:00.000-05:00

I noticed today that my belly button is a little off. I'm not talking about the usual protruding-through-her-tee- shirt look all pregnant women get eventually (or in my case, about two months along this pregnancy). I mean it's off-center. For most people, male or female, pregnant or not, their belly buttons point in the same direction as their noses. Mine now points slightly to the right. For whatever reason, I'm off balance, a little uneven, helter-skelter, disheveled, off-sided, unsymmetrical, disproportionate, lopsided . . . I've got more!

Perhaps the muscles on one side of my belly are more elastic than the other. Maybe it's the way Benjamin is positioned. Is it possible my navel has always been that way, but it takes a third pregnancy for me to notice? The world may never know, and is most likely to never care. I only mention it at all, because it seems to be a pretty accurate parallel to how I'm feeling. The "of course" last-straw element that explains my mood. We all have those little things. The bad day you knew was coming, and naturally begins with you dropping your bowl of cereal onto your lap. It happens, we sigh, look towards the heavens, and call the little event a "sign". Then we move on with whatever trial we knowingly had scheduled.

I knew it'd be hard being so pregnant with my husband deployed.  Nothing has come as a surprise. My evening heartburn kicks in about the same time my four-almost-five-year-old has a break down and starts screaming, and my two-year-old tells me she's had a potty training accident, again. The exhaustion, the achey muscles, the too-frequent doctor's appointments, which mean babysitters, and driving, and waiting, all for a 5 minute examination and a "see ya in a few weeks" diagnosis, were to be expected.  It's funny how the knowledge that this is exactly how it'd be doesn't really make it easier.

I know what you're thinking.

"But you're almost done!"
"Your husband will come home soon!"
"You're almost full term!"
"You're so close, aren't you happy it's almost over?"

No. Because it's not over. "Almost" brings no relief. Why is it that? Why is the last lap the hardest? Theoretically it shouldn't be. After so much effort, the last little bit should seem like nothing. Yet we know from experience it's nothing like "nothing". Think of something physically challenging you've done, and think about how you felt when you were almost done. Did you suddenly have an extra burst of energy, and found it was over quickly, leaving you with a glorious feeling of accomplishment? If you did, you have a special talent for glamorizing the past.

I remember climbing a mountain while my husband and I were still dating. I saw the first of our group reach the top, and I sighed, thinking of my aching, trembling knees. The advanced hikers were only about 20 minutes ahead of us, and yet those 20 minutes dragged on like the slow drip of a leaky faucet. I kept myself going by imagining the incredible view we'd have at the top. By the time I reached it however, I was so tired, I hardly looked around. It was pretty, breathtaking even, if my breath hadn't already been taken by the extreme effort it took to get there. Usually when we finish something difficult, the strongest emotion is relief rather than triumph.  Triumph comes later, after we've recovered somewhat, and suppressed the memory of the pain.

I think I've done this deployment routine too many times. Perhaps so much that I've trained myself to expect the last few weeks to feel like they're the longest. For so many obvious reasons, I'm tired, I'm off balanced, not straight, ready to fall over. The future brings nothing but relief and good things, and all I can think about is how I'm not there yet.

So what is the answer to this part-of-life dilemma?  It's as obvious as my off-centered protruding navel in my those-don't-fit-anymore-because-I'm-in-my-last-month maternity tops.

Keep pluggin' away.

I'm the old man with the ladder from the children's story Tikki Tikki Tembo. "Step over step, step over step, step over step"

I'm Dori from Disney's Finding Nemo. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

I'm the blue engine from The Little Engine that Could. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!"

One day finished is one day closer to the end. Yesterday I cleaned the house after a week of being sick. Well, except for the bathrooms, which are still gross, and the laundry that still needs to be put away and the last load folded. I did finish the vacuuming though.

Today is my parents' 29th anniversary! They are living proof that love survives hardship. Proud parents of five, and even happier grandparents of almost four, they have much to celebrate. This whole "never giving up even when it's hard" thing works. I know it does. I'm not giving up. I'm just complaining a little. Beneath my verbose complaints does lie a true attempt at optimism. My hormones are in overdrive (shocking, huh?) and I've felt overdue for a date.  What better day than today?  29 years ago today my parents made a sacred commitment to each other, and although still watching from above, to me.  I couldn't go on a real date, obvoiusly. So I did what I could think of as "the next best thing". I put on makeup, and since we missed church last Sunday due to yucky colds, that was a first in over a week and half. I dressed as nicely as possible considering the watermelon tummy. I put on the necklace my mom gave me for Christmas, and the earrings my husband gave me before he deployed for the holidays. I even brushed and styled Anny's hair, for which she was not grateful even though it did look cute.  We had a delicious lunch at Wendys. The service was pathetic, we waited for our "fast food" for 15 minutes, and I had to go back to the counter 4 times for items they forgot to give us. However they have a new berry salad, it's very good.  I purchased tickets to that great romantic comedy Kung Fu Panda II. The movie was silly . . . ok, stupid, but we still had a good time. Evening is now approaching, which will bring on the bedtime routine, and one more day to tick off.

I wonder if the little blue engine would have made it if she were expecting, and carrying a few cute little blue cars of her own? Perhaps the broken down circus train wouldn't have asked her for help. Nah- who am I kidding? Of course they would have asked! They would have taken one look at her, observed her overflowing coal car and little blue cabooses in tow, seen she was a train with hidden strength, unafraid of a challenge, and known she'd say "yes".

Did you note the airplane in the background? He's also symbollic to my life, and definitely belongs in the picture. I think ya'll can figure out how without my addition of another paragraph or three to this post.

At Berry Picking Time

2011-05-08T16:09:00.000-05:00

We visited a you-pick-it Strawberry farm with friends last week. It was an hour long car drive, but worth every minute! I can't believe we've never tried something like this before. The berries were very red, very ripe, and incredibly delicious. Unfortunately they may have ruined store berries forever for me, because, as with all farm fresh fruit, when you've tasted what it's like ripe off the plant/tree, there's just no comparison. Anny did most of our picking, with a little help from little sister, although once Merrylee knew she could eat the berries, her contribution to the basket decreased considerably. We came home with 10 lbs of strawberries, for just over $13. It was by far one of the most fun things I've done with the girls. That, and we came home with 10 lbs of strawberries! Next month is the season for blueberries!

Before I put up my montage of strawberry wonderfulness- here's a few photos of the girls' finished room. Anny has graduated to a big girl bed, Merrylee to the toddler bed, thus freeing up the crib for Benjamin. We added more pink to the curtains, and matching comforters. When the sun comes through those curtains, the entire room glows pink. It's a happy place to be.

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And what does one do with 10 lbs of fully ripe strawberries, you ask? Well, after a little munching, I made 6 jars of freezer jam, 22 strawberry muffins (not all shown here, they were too good to all make it for the photo) plus 6 cups leftover for a butter cookie topped cobbler tomorrow as a mothers day dessert.

Singing Singing all the Day

2011-04-29T16:40:00.002-05:00

"I'm small I know, but wherever I go, the grass grows greener still . . ."

It's a bit of a challenge to keep the household running smoothly while in my third trimester, Daddy away, and two little ones at home. We've kept busy with what we can. Here's some small things we've been doing:

decorating Benjamin and the girls' rooms (photos to be posted of both in a later entry)
playing with visiting family
sewing a baby quilt for Benjamin (again, photos to be posted when it's finished)
potty training Merrylee
finishing up preschool activities and teeball
making a coconut cake for Easter
enjoying an Easter meal and egg hunt with friends
visiting the beach (and bringing home much of the sand)

It's a short list of seemingly inconsequential things, easily glazed over. However those small things keep my small family happy while Daddy's on another "big trip".

I like to imagine the metaphor of a family on a hike. The husband and wife share the load of supplies while the children skip along the sandy pathway of scattered flowers, pausing to pick a few, and place them sweetly in their shining hair. For the parents the path turns uphill, muddy, and lonely as they hit the fork in the road that temporarily separates Daddy from the family. As he disappears around the corner the mother is tempted to slow down, drag her feet, or even sit down on the side of the path and cry. By resisting that urge and giving away of herself, for the children the path continues to be the same light, easy, and flowered walk it's always been, and the mother is rewarded with happy sounds of them singing, singing, all the way. Listening to those sweet and pleasant voices makes it easier for her to keep moving, and even notice an occasional blossom or two of her own. Their steps are small, limited to the short strides of the little ones; their progress slow and unrushed by lots of potty breaks, pauses to look at caterpillars, smell flowers, and gaze at every pretty bird or butterfly along the way. The seasoned and strong hikers who pass them by may wonder why they are making the trip at all, as it seems they wont ever get very far. However the maker of the path smiles upon the scene, and sees that wherever they go, the grass grows greener still.

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I'm grateful for our Savior, Jesus Christ, who lived a perfect life of giving and service. He gave us his life, and like him we will live again after death. He atoned for our sins, giving us the ability to repent, and find happiness despite our imperfections and mistakes. This Easter we celebrate our love for him, and renew our efforts to follow his example. He will guide us through every step we take on his path, make our burdens light, and open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us on our way.

“Give,” Said the Little Stream, Children’s Songbook of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 236

Cheerfully

1. “Give,” said the little stream,
“Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.”
“Give,” said the little stream,
As it hurried down the hill;
“I’m small, I know, but wherever I go
The grass grows greener still.”

Chorus
Singing, singing all the day,
“Give away, oh! give away.”
Singing, singing all the day,
“Give, oh! give away.”

2. “Give,” said the little rain,
“Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.”
“Give,” said the little rain,
As it fell upon the flow’rs;
“I’ll raise their drooping heads again,”
As it fell upon the flow’rs.

3. Give, then, as Jesus gives,
Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.
Give, then, as Jesus gives;
There is something all can give.
Do as the streams and blossoms do:
For God and others live.

Words: Fanny J. Crosby, 1820–1915
Music: William B. Bradbury, 1816–1868. Arr. © 1989 IRI

You may see the music and listen to the traditional version of this song here

Deuteronomy 16:17
17 Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the Lord thy God which he hath given thee.

Route for the home team!

2011-03-16T17:01:00.000-05:00

How do you get a very girly little four year old excited about Teeball? Two very important steps:

1. Buy every accessory possible in pink
2. Let a very excited Daddy motivate her

What more can a girl ask for in a sport than a helmet like that, and an amazing Dad?!

How to Charm Your Daddy 101

2011-01-24T21:02:00.000-06:00

Granted Merrylee was already at an advantage, since Daddy just got home and hadn't seen her in awhile, so just about everything the girls do make him smile. Still though, this time, she had him nailed.

The girls were changing into their pajamas with Daddy's help. I had plans to do laundry (failed plans) so the baskets were in the laundry room. Rather than start a pile of clothes on the floor where the basket should be, Dad handed Merrylee their dirty clothes to go carry into the laundry room. Merrylee doesn't like being by herself in any part of the house, so I could smell an excuse coming. Our neighbors have dogs we can sometimes hear barking. A common excuse for Merrylee not to be alone or sent somewhere is "I'm scared of the puppies".

That one works on me sometimes, because I'm actually a little afraid of their puppies too. Unlike Merrylee however, I do find more comfort in our walls and closed doors, and am a little past jumping at the mere sound of their bark. That comes with years of practice I guess!

Tonight, knowing her audience, Merrylee changed her excuse. Hearing the cannon boom of practicing AC-130's in the distant airfields, she started walking to the laundry room, then ran back into the bedroom, looked innocently up into Daddy's face and said, "I don't wanna see a gunship."

A surprised look came over Daddy's face, and instead of rolling his eyes and telling her that was silly (and obviously manipulative) he smiled at her, gave me a quick "aren't our girls amazing?!!" look and said, "Ok Merrylee, I'll walk with you, because you're so cute."

He then on their way to the laundry room kindly explained she has nothing to fear about the gunships, and that they're on her side. I'm sure she's very reassured, and will never use such an excuse again. Never ever, not when it worked so well...

Hippie Night

2011-01-18T19:45:00.002-06:00

Monday evenings are in a way just as sacred as the sabbath to LDS families. However instead of forgetting all worldly cares, and dedicating ourselves to a day of rest and worship as we do on Sundays, we set all else aside, and focus on our families. Church buildings are locked and dark, and our temples are closed. We are discouraged from holding parties, receptions, showers, and other get togethers that would distract from family time, or pull someone away from home. We're even discouraged from signing up our children with sports teams, music groups, or anything else that would regularly meet on a Monday evening. Monday nights are for the family, and what could possibly be more important than a consistent, regular family meeting time?

We call these special weekly meetings Family Home Evening, or FHE for short. I was privileged to grow up in a family that never missed a single FHE. Occasionally my dad's job would keep him working late or out of town, but my mom then directed our family evenings herself. We sang songs, read from the scriptures, had gospel lessons, ate treats, and enjoyed being together. Sometimes we'd go out to the movies as a family, or play flashlight games outside. Parents, brothers, and sisters became an audience to preform dance routines, a new song learned on a musical instrument, or a poem memorized at school. We also used that time to discuss important events, and make family decisions.  Some of my most treasured childhood memories are from a common Monday night practice in our home, where during "treat time" at the end of FHE, my Dad read aloud stories or chapters from funny books.  We'd laugh until we were at risk of choking or spitting out chocolate brownie, and were always sad when the story or chapter was over, and we had to get ready for bed. Even as a moody teenager, I looked forward to Monday nights.  It was an oasis of happiness, strategically placed at the start of a long and difficult week of high school.

I remember when I was twelve, I had an opportunity to join an elite children's orchestra. My violin teacher highly recommended the group, and my mother, being a music teacher herself, knew the experience would be a good opportunity for me. However when we learned the group met on Monday evenings, there was no argument or pause. I didn't have to fight with my mother, I simply knew, this wasn't something I would participate in.  She really wanted me to be a part of this group, but despite this disappointment, she didn't hesitate for a second, or rationalize that maybe we could switch the nights for family night.  We both knew right away, Monday nights are family nights, and being a great musician comes second to being together as a family. I didn't join the group.

At the time that experience wasn't significant, because it was consistent with training I'd had all my life. It didn't stand out as extraordinary to me. I see now that it was.  I've realized it's my parents unfailing attitude and dedication to our family that has taught me where my priorities should be, and how to run my own family now.  The confidence I have in my family relationships has so much to do with that family night. Our schedule of activities molded around family night, and not the reverse.  Tuesday through Saturday the world had claim on our time. Nothing touched Monday nights, because there never was something else more important.

I do not think there is a better way to demonstrate love to your family. There are naturally other important things not to be neglected, such as kind words, patience, hard work, a listening ear, providing for essential needs, teaching discipline and moderation, keeping a clean and healthy home, the list goes on.  However I have witnessed the blessings of a regular family time that comes second to nothing else.  I was reminded every single Monday of the first eighteen years of my life that I was loved, and that being together as a family mattered. Nothing shook our resolve. Come what may, we'd be together that night. I was never bitter or unhappy about that.  No one in my family was. We wanted to be together. What more could you want from life than to be together with your family?

After that lengthy and slightly heavy description of a topic of obvious importance to me, you're probably wondering what on earth gave me the inclination to name this entry "hippie night"?  Well I can answer that!!! My husband and I do hold FHE with our family. After a perfect legacy and example set by my parents, how can we not?!!! With Daddy's frequent deployments, its obvious to anyone how important a regular family meeting time would be. Now, admittedly while Daddy is away and the girls are so little, holding FHE does feel a bit redundant, since we're together all day anyway. However routine and memories start early, and I don't really have an excuse not to do something special on Mondays with my little sweeties.  Last night the girls and I had a "hippie night" together for our FHE. Not really, but we did make homemade granola. Then we formed a drum circle, sang "kum bi ya" . . . just kidding. I'm much too conservative, and would probably offend most hippies by applying the term to myself. We did make the granola though, and it was fun!!!

We'd had a late lunch, and not having a hungry Daddy coming home from work to cook for makes our dinner routine a little more flexible. Emma, my fabulous friend, who is a great mom, and a former professional chef, recommended this recipe for homemade granola.  As our "optional ingredients" we added dried cranberries and mini chocolate chips, half a cup each, and enjoyed bowls of freshly made granola for supper. Both my girls, who are picky eaters, especially at supper time, gobbled it right up!! It's of course tasty with fruit, or on ice cream or yogurt (so I hear anyway) but we ate it by itself like dry cereal. We had so much fun making it and of course eating it together, I had to share both the experience and recipe. A healthy, kid-friendly snack, that contains whole grains, fruit, protein, and no preservatives (since we made it at home ourselves!) is a rare find!!

So- go start up a family night, and make some granola!!! If you ever need ideas on what to do together, I'm your girl, as I've had a lifetime of experience on the subject.  Don't feel intimidated or tell yourself it's too late, your kids are too old, your lives too busy... because the way to make something like this work, is to set aside all excuses, get started, and don't stop. You'll never truly have something better to do in place of this time, and you'll never miss what you sacrificed to be together. Think about what in your heart is most important to you, and you'll know I'm right. Not that I can take credit. FHE wasn't my idea after all...

Little Brothers

2011-01-05T11:58:00.001-06:00

Although the title may suggest otherwise, we did not recently find out we're expecting twin boys. I have had a "feeling" we're expecting a son. Usually my maternal instincts are wrong though, so we'll see.

This post is dedicated to not the future brothers of Anny and Merrylee, but rather to my little brothers, Peter and Joseph. The holidays came and went with the number one man in our lives overseas. Daddy's in the Air Force, so as Merrylee often says these days in her cute little toddler voice, "it happens".

Instead of moping around the house in FL, we were graciously invited to spend Christmas and New Years with my family in VA. I have to admit there wasn't a complete lack of moping there on my part, but my little brothers, who are both taller than me now and much much cooler, were awesome, fun, hilarious, friendly, cute, witty, charming, chivalrous, and tremendously adored by their little nieces. They truly made that visit special for us. I started making a list of some of the things they did to make our visit great, but the list seemed so incomplete and didn't clearly illustrate how extraordinary my brothers really are. From cleaning dirty diapers and throw-up (a lot of both) to demonstrating an endless supply of patience for chatter and princess games, they did it all and then some. They made me laugh when I was lonely, smile and forget I was nauseous . . . I'm afraid I'm at a loss in how to describe my gratitude to them. Perhaps my feelings are best demonstrated in song.

Uncle Joe and Uncle Pete, we love you both so so much, and miss you already. I feel very much like Candice in the video, the silly and obnoxious big sister who's only claim to fame is being related to and older than Phineas and Pherb. How am I related to such incredible guys as you two??!! Just lucky I guess!!

A humble two year old

2010-12-17T14:44:00.000-06:00

We have an advent calendar the girls enjoy using at Christmastime. It's the same calendar I used as a little girl. The tradition is to fill each of the little pockets with York Peppermint Patties. Each day of December before Christmas, the little mouse gets moved to a new pocket, and the peppermint pattie is split between participating siblings. Anny actually remembered the calendar this year. She had a fun time filling each of the pockets with peppermint patties as we got out our decorations, and had a bit of a tearful moment when one bag of mints only filled 22 of the pockets. Thankfully she has an experienced mother, who plans ahead for these things. I showed her the second bag I had bought, and she smiled, wiped the tears off her cheeks, and finished filling the pockets. The extra mints lasted just a couple tasty days in our candy dish.

Anny looks forward to her daily special duty of taking out the mint, splitting it with her sister, and moving the mouse into his new pocket. Merrylee of course looks forward to this too, and doesn't seem to notice when her half of the mint is somehow a bit smaller than her sisters.

This afternoon I was busy procrastinating some much needed house cleaning (still am as I write this post!) and doing some last minute online shopping. Merrylee had dragged a stool into the pantry, and was trying to find herself a snack. After refusing her various requests for christmas tree cakes and cookies, I finally just told her to stay out of the pantry. A few minutes passed, and it got a little too quiet in the kitchen- usually a time when the "mommy sensors" go off. I called for Merrylee, and recieved no response. I got up to see what she was up to, and found her sitting at the kitchen table, taking a bite out of a peppermint pattie she had snuck out of the advent calendar. She immediately looked up at me with a very guilty face. Obviously no "she's too little to understand" excuse could be applied. I told her "no" and reminded her those were special candies for our calendar. She made a very humble and sad face, and looked at her toes. A little hand containing the half eaten mint was rasied up towards me as she softly replied, "here Mama. I don't want it anymore."

My heart melted, and not not wanting to ruin a perfect parenting moment, instead of smothering her with the huge snuggle I instantly craved, I took the candy, and wiped the chocolate off her fingers.

I think we'll keep her.

Anny of course wandered into the kitchen to see what was going on. When I explained what had happened, Anny looked at Merrylee shocked and said incredulously, "How did she open it?!!"

Anny has a bit of trouble opening candies, and even resorts to scissors on occasion. I responded simply that Merrylee doesn't seem to have those same challenges.

Here's a photo of the little sweetheart, expressing the latest fashions for toddlers. Looking at that little face, I wonder how we manage any sort of discipline at all.

Daughters in the Wilderness

2010-11-27T00:16:00.003-06:00

When I am at my worst, I find strength through reading the scriptures. I feel stronger at the core, and similar to the sensation of Tylenol after a fever, that strength spreads to the rest of me, and things seem easier. Much of this is because spiritual feelings affect us physically. Physically one can feel lighter, less lonely, and peaceful after reading the words of God and his prophets.

It is also no secret that blessings come from study and learning. While studying biology, a better understanding of life is gained, as well as an appreciation for the world, it's beauty, creation, and our place in it's vast existence. The mind is opened as the function of organisms is broken down to a cellular level. Wonderment of the intricacy of a tiny plant, and all that goes on for it to survive, broadens how we view everything else.  New knowledge changes us, and how we think.

The same phenomenon occurs through studying and searching the scriptures.  We gain a clearer understanding of God, and his will for us. The scriptures provide examples of people who had trials, sorrow, and pain of their own. Some of these people through their trials turned cold, bitter, and set a legacy of hatred, killing, and ignorance for generations of posterity. Others faithfully and steadfastly turned to God throughout their trials. They were hungry, and prayed for where to find food. In danger from enemies, they prayed for where to flee to safety, or how to fight and save their families and freedom. They made boats, crossed oceans and vast wildernesses, started new civilizations, created new governments, and built temples.

I study the scriptures, and feel physical blessings from the spiritual connection I feel with God. I also feel the knowledge from the scriptures change how I think.  Compassion replaces frustration, as I think on experiences with my children during the day. Patience replaces weariness when I look at the examples of other steadfast saints, with trials much greater than mine.

Such was the case as I stumbled upon a poster online, of a group of women who knew real trials, much greater than what I've had to bear.

Ancient prophet, Lehi, was warned by God of the impending destruction of his home city, Jerusalem. God told him to take his family, and flee into the wilderness. Lehi was a wealthy man, and years of travel without what were his "modern conveniences" that came with city living, I imagine was no small difficulty.  However he unquestioningly heeded God's warning. His family left, and had a long and difficult journey. That family included Lehi's sons and their families. Children were conceived and born on that trek, yet they carried on. Lehi had a copy of the scriptures. He read to his family, and I know it gave them strength and direction.

The poster I found online is of the women of Lehi's family. Daughters and wives, with babies on their hips, walking forward, steadfast with faith in their God shining in their eyes.  In the corner of the poster is a scripture, describing the experience of these women.

1 Nephi 17:1-3

1 ... And we did travel and wade through much affliction in the wilderness; and our women did bear children in the wilderness.

2 And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings.

3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

I read of these women, look in their eyes in the poster, and feel some of their strength pass to me. These women loved their families. They needed strength beyond what they were born with, so they could complete the great task before them. Turning to God blessed them with what I know they desperately prayed for. When we are on our knees with our most desperate prayers, aren't those prayers always about our families? I imagine those women on their knees and in tears, pleading with God saying, "Please, help me feed my babies. Help me wake up tomorrow, and keep moving. Please give me strength to carry on, when on my own, I have none left".

God answered their prayers. He gave them strength like men. These city women, with soft, unchallenged bodies used to easy living and wealth, discovered they could live off of raw meat, travel while pregnant, give birth in the wilderness, and feed their children.

If God answered their prayers, is he not even more capable of helping me? When I come to him through prayer, knowing my own strength has left, I know he can help me, just as he helped these women. I do not need the same blessings. Thankfully I do not need to learn to survive on raw meat, and live for years in a wilderness. My trials are different, and the blessings personal to me. I see them everyday. After a long tiring day, I find I still have the energy to stay up with a sick baby. A friend will call or stop by, and give me support I didn't even realize I so desperately needed. A broken internet connection will fix itself, so we can still talk to Daddy. I have hot water, plenty of food, a working car, good health, a washing machine, air conditioner, and internet camera. I can talk to and see my husband who is on the other side of the world. I am blessed and made stronger, by being able to see my many blessings, and appreciate and focus on them. Reading the scriptures changes the way I think, and better allows me to find happiness at a difficult time.

The women of Lehi's family didn't pray, and wake up in the comfort of their homes in Jerusalem. I'm sure on weaker days they noticed they were still in the dirty wilderness, still tired, still had to live off raw meat, and had little ones who always needed them. I have no doubt there were mornings where they looked around and thought, "I really hate this."

If I'm not careful it's too easy to hate my circumstances too. I notice my dirty house I never seem to keep up with, the large stack of calendar days my husband is still away, how yucky and tired I feel, and how early my children wake up every day, not to mention that never ending list of tasks I need to complete no matter how I'm feeling. I wouldn't trade with the women of Lehi's family though! They found strength in God, and so can I. They eventually reached a promised land. They set a legacy of faith, and their posterity turned to their examples again and again, as do I.

Granted, the poster is romanticized a bit. The girl in the front is beautiful, and they're in formation doing a "power walk" like in the movies. I don't think it's necessarily meant to be realistic, but more to paint a feeling of strength and inner beauty I'm sure they had. So what would my romantic poster look like? If I could paint it myself, my hair would be gracefully swept back, blowing in the breeze perhaps, with Merrylee on my hip, and Anny standing by holding my hand and looking trustingly up at me. I'd be gazing towards the sky, watching airplanes, and seeing beyond the clouds with thoughtful determination, and hope glowing from my eyes.

We all should have motivating posters of ourselves, don't you think? Posters that through their artwork speak the words, "I am a daughter of God. I am daily blessed with divine strength, and can conquer any trial, just as those before me."

Nephi, son of Lehi, probably said it best when describing how God helped his family:

"...And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them..."

Represet the Four Year Old . . .

2010-11-18T14:32:00.000-06:00

I added photos from Anny's gymnastics class today to our slideshow from the last post. Check it out again, they're great pictures, and I caught several of her catching some air! Her coach said she's really impressed by Anny, and can't believe this is her first gymnastics class! Do we see a possible star in the 2020 Summer Olympics? Nah, we wouldn't do that to her. Anny really loves gymnastics, why ruin that for her?!! We have to agree with her coach though, she's pretty impressive!! (and in more than just gymnastics!)

Little Pink Leotards, and a Little Pink Tree

2010-11-16T18:21:00.002-06:00

Missing Daddy is just no fun. Merrylee, Anny, and I have to do something to keep our morale up while Daddy's away for the holidays!!! So what do we do? We embrace our femininity.

Watching chick flicks is way more common than college football, and there's lots of dancing while the soccer ball is lonely in the corner. Jim Rome's radio show is replaced with princess songs in the car, and evidence of crafts, sewing, and art projects can be found in every room of the house. Shopping trips are as long as we want them to be (and so are the receipts!). Each of us understands and agrees there are appropriate times for crying, whether it be at the end of Toy Story 3, or because the tin of Danish Christmas butter cookies is empty, and you were so looking forward to eating one!!! The estrogen flows freely, as does the chocolate. We're survivors, taking on life one pinkalicious day at a time.

Today's girly events revolved around pink things (they often do). Both girls are in gymnastics classes this month, and today I found a little pink leotard a friend gave to us- size 2T. Needless to say it was worn by a very cute two year old girl to her toddler gymnastics class today. Of course Anny has a darling pink leotard of her own too!!

On our way home we decided to pick up our Christmas tree, rather than fight Thanksgiving crowds next week. I'm usually a "real tree" kind of girl, but with Daddy out for the holidays, much of my decorating motivation went with him. Buying a fake tree just seemed simpler, not to mention it will last as long as we want it to, so we can leave it up for Daddy to see after he gets back.

"That's all fine and well" you say, "but what does that have to do with pink things?"

Great question- one I didn't think I'd be answering today. While looking at my different options of plastic trees, the girls spotted a three foot high little pink one, and fell in love. I love my girls, and found I completely lacked the will to say no. Of course if you're going to buy a little pink tree, you also need a pink Christmas tree skirt, pink garland, pink ornaments, and a pink star to put on top! The girls were so happy and excited to set up their little tree in their bedroom. Traditionally we wait until after Thanksgiving to put up the Christmas decorations, but for an occasion like this, would you have waited?!!

Anny summed up the entire experience with the words, "I think I'm gonna cry a happy cry because our pink tree is so beautiful!!!!"

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This slideshow is dedicated to the Prince Charming of our hearts, we're all looking forward to that special "someday" you come home!

5 points if you know the classic girly movie the original version of the song in our slideshow comes from!! (this is a fun country version of the original)

$10 well spent

2010-11-04T20:04:00.001-05:00

My lifelong friend and first college roommate, Dana, has a heart of gold. She's friends with a family in Utah, and sadly the father of this family has cancer, and it doesn't look like he's going to make it. She wants to do all she can to help with their situation, so she's completed a few handmade crafts, and is selling them as a small fundraiser. You can read about this family's story, and what she's selling here. One of the items are these darling little flower clips, with accompanying headband for babies or toddlers with slowly growing locks, like my little sweetie, Merrylee. Dana is asking for $10 for a set of flower clips and a headband, and that includes shipping. Photos of the different sets are in the above link. My girls love these little clips, it was money very well spent. Check out Dana's blog, read about this family, and think about supporting this great cause. I'd probably spend $10 for these cute clips as it is, the girls love them!!! Knowing I helped make a small difference for a family in need made the purchase even sweeter.

By the way, the girls are only modeling two of the flower clips, a full set comes with more!

A little bit more

2010-10-29T00:39:00.001-05:00

My hubbie had a late flight tonight. By late, I mean it's past midnight, and it'll still be a few hours before he's home. A good mother will have had her kids sound asleep for hours, a tidy house, dishwasher running, and getting some beauty sleep herself.  I'm 0 for 4. Bad score, I know.

Right at about dinner time I felt my energy crash. I talked myself into taking a tiny cat nap. With no husband to have dinner ready for tonight, I figured a twenty minute delay in our evening ritual wouldn't be a big deal.

It wasn't twenty minutes.

I was slightly aware of the girls coming up to me at different times with complaints about each other. When consciousness fully hit me, it was 8:00pm.  With this afternoons' craft project still spread out on the kitchen table, a very messy playroom that had spread to the rest of the house and sink full of dirty dishes, I sighed.

I really had no other choice. I knew what I had to do.

I made dinner, laid out a picnic blanket in the living room, and turned on a princess movie. We ate several helpings of spaghetti and meat sauce, too much garlic bread, and cupcakes. Merrylee giggled through the funny scenes of the movie, Anny questioned the meanings of the sad parts, and they both snuggled during the scary moments. We all (even Merrylee- it was cute) cooed at the romantic lines. My babies got to bed after 10:30.

Now it's after midnight, and I still have crafts on the kitchen table, a sink full of dirty dishes, and a messy playroom that has spread to the rest of the house.

I really had no other choice. I knew what I had to do... and you're reading it!

Happy blogging my friends. Here's to cleaner houses, hours of sleep, and all the other good things we should be doing right now.  That can all can wait so I can share my thoughts with you. I'm so glad I broke the rules. Tonight was all about me and my girls, and I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

And the mom, with her mom-feet in flip flops of pink,
stood puzzling and puzzling, knew not what to think!
It came without planning. It came without nags.
It came without makeup, cellphones, or scrubbing with rags!
And she puzzled and puzzled 'till her puzzler was sore.
Then the Mom thought of something she hadn't before.
Good parenting, perhaps, isn't about keeping score.
Maybe parenting, she thought,
is a little bit more.

Western Beauty

2010-10-13T02:49:00.001-05:00

Nine years ago my mom and I flew 2000 miles away from our home, and after a few tearful hugs, she left me in a very different and foreign place- the west! It wasn't at all like the lush, green, and busy metropolis I was used to in the east, yet I grew to adore the large open skies and grand towering mountains of my new home on the college campus of BYU, in Provo, Utah.

A few weeks ago we drove back to my first home-away-from-home to visit my sister, who has also left her native east coast land, and made the west her own. She just had her first baby, and we were anxious to meet little Ryan.

I felt a nostalgic thrill as we entered the Provo valley, again experiencing a bit of the excitement that comes from leaving home, and experiencing life on your own. I loved my years spent out west. So much has happened to me since I first flew over those mountains. Being there again, I felt like I was introducing my old home to the new me, and my now growing family.

We didn't get to do half the things we'd planned to do on our visit- but we did get to see lots of friends and family, and enjoy some beautiful sites and detours on our long drive. It was a lot of car time, but that also meant a lot of family time, and with Daddy gone a lot, we can never have too much of that.

Our little car has made several cross-country trips, and it drove smoothly for this one too! The views were perfect, weather beautiful, family precious, and our girls amazingly tolerant of all the carseat time. Thanks to my incredible husband who spent hours planning every mile so things would run smoothly- they did! I'm sad it's all over. After 4000 miles of driving, that says a lot!

To my dear friend, the west, 'till we meet again, and may we have many happy returns!

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Oh What do you Do

2010-10-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

My baby is no longer so. Merry little Merrylee turned two, and I'm a little behind in posting sweet photos of her special day.

Both my little ones have their favorite songs they like me to sing to them when they need snuggles in the rocking chair. Anny's has always been, "Daisy, Daisy". I know you know it-

"Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you . . ."

Merrylee's favorite song is Oh What Do You Do in the Summer Time? It's a song in our church children's songbook. She fondly refers to it as "Oh What Do you Do". You can listen to the original version here. Click on the "words and music" dot on the left, and then hit play.

Inside Out, an acapella band I like, sings a cute version of the song. I listened to it today on Itunes, and Merrylee ran out of the playroom and said, "Oh! I like that song!" and immediately started hopping around and dancing. It only seems appropriate that I set her birthday slideshow to said song.

I don't think a little toddler could possibly be more loved than this one!

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My Guitar Hero

2010-08-22T21:25:00.000-05:00

Coming home from a deployment seems to suppress my husband's usual very frugal attitude. After the last deployment he decided we needed smart phones, and the accompanying data plans. He's not the type of guy to say I'm a stay at home mom and therefore have no need for such up to date technology. He's a true gentleman, and said if he's going to have a cool phone, then so am I.

Just before coming home this time, he decided it's time he bought a guitar. What's the only thing sexier than a good lookin' guy with an acoustic guitar? A good lookin' guy with an acoustic guitar, showing it off to his two baby girls. My guitar hero. Welcome home babe, we missed you like crazy, and everything is better with you here!

No Air

2010-08-15T00:13:00.002-05:00

I heard the Jordin Sparks/Chris Brown song No Air on the radio the other day, and was reminded of this SYTYCD routine I saw about a year ago. It's a beautiful dance, if you're brave enough to respect contemporary styles. I tend to appreciate the more classical dance routines, my favorite being the ballroom waltzes, as long as the costumes are decent enough. (What's with the new idea that to present a routine you have to be practically naked?!!) However this dance caught me by surprise, I really love every bit of it, and have watched it over and over and over again. Even now, a year later, it still makes me cry.

Want to know what it feels like the first few moments after saying goodbye to a spouse leaving for a deployment? If you do you're crazy, because as you can imagine, it's miserable. This song and routine give a glimpse though. For me at least, it literally does feel like I'm trying to breathe with no air. Many of my faithful readers know all too well these feelings. Those who don't, can imagine. It's worse than what you imagine. The anguish, fear, heartache, anxiety, and tears- it's just not something I can even begin to describe.

I love the arts. I love that we can express what we can't explain in words, through music, painting, sculpture, and dance. The choreographers who made this dance seemed to know me!

Now that you've seen the dance, I want to end on the happy note that I'm grateful for my life support team when I'm out of air. There are times when I know I couldn't breathe on my own if it weren't for my family, devoted friends, and my faith. I'm looking forward to breathing well again soon, very soon.

Magic Pink Goggles

2010-08-11T16:11:00.003-05:00

After a long and relaxing vacation in VA with the "Great Abs", the girls and I came home to a very welcoming group of friends, and swim lessons. They may look alike, but when it comes to the water (and many other things) my girls are very different. Merrylee is a little fishy, and used those very words today at the pool to describe herself.

"I'm a fishy!" she said, as she splashed and dipped her little sunscreen covered head into the water.

She shows no fear, and truly loves kicking her little feet, blowing bubbles, and even an occasional dunk (with Mommy of course). Anny however is more hesitant. Last year's swim lessons were difficult. Lots of drama, lots of tears, and no, it didn't get better after a few sessions. I feared another difficult two weeks ahead of me this year. We went to the pool a few days before they were going to start, and Anny seemed alright playing. She wasn't being pushed to try new things though, and I knew in her class she would be. My good friend, Kaycee, had a nice pair of pink tinted goggles. Anny and pink have a very close relationship, so needless to say she let Kaycee coax her into trying them on. To my amazement, Anny then dunked her little head into the water to look for a sinking toy. Then, she did it again!!! She kept it up until we were ready to go home. Guess who now has her own pair of fancy $12 pink goggles?!

Today was lesson #2, and I have the model child in class. Last year I was the parent apologizing for my screaming and upset kid. This year I hear the musical sounds of, "Look at Anny, see, Anny can do it!" and "wow, great job Anny, now everyone watch Anny!"

The teacher told me how blessed I was to have two children so naturally inclined to swimming and the water, and that I should be so proud of them. I am very proud of my little swimmers, but it's really not fair to give me much credit. It's those magic pink goggles!!

It's been very exciting seeing Anny progress so much in that class, and enjoy herself while doing it!!! She seems like such a big girl to me. When asked about the Ariel on her swimsuit, she told the teacher today, "Oh, that's Ariel. I really loved that movie when I was little."

Here's a photo of our sweet four-year-old swimmer, and another of her pretty hairstyle I made today, special for swim class to keep the hair out of her face and goggles. I'm actually quite proud of that little half-updo. My stylist friend must be rubbing off a bit!

When you're 30 and 4 . . .

2010-07-27T09:27:00.005-05:00

I wish I remember the story it was from, but I remember someone reading to me that on our birthdays, we are not just the age we are turning, we're all of them together. For example, on Anny's birthday last week, she didn't just turn four. She was one, two, three, and four. She is a compilation of all those ages. She still has her silly three-year-old moments, her teary two-year-old moments, and her snugly one-year-old moments. Four is just another begining, where new things can be added to her days of being three, two, and one.

I have to admit I have my two-year-old moments, where I just want to cry to my mommy and no amount of good advice or logic will make it better. I have my seventeen year old moments where I can't help but daydream about the boy who likes me, (accept in my current self, that boy is the man I love and married!). Then of course there's the mature twenty-seven-year-old-moments when I've realized there's no time for crying, because someone needs to be strong, cool minded, and solve whatever problem we're facing. While Scott's still away and I'm the only adult home, that someone has to be me! Being a big girl can mean having to ignore your two-year-old self (and three, and four, and even seventeen . . .)

Thirty is a big birthday- one of those some people dread, others fully celebrate, but is rarely passed over unnoticed. I think that's because thirty is typically viewed as the official end of youth. The adult world now must admit, you belong. Why, do you ask, have I given this a bit of thought? No, I didn't just turn thirty. My husband did, and his birthday truly did slip by unnoticed! On the phone he said he wasn't telling anyone it was his birthday, "because I don't know what military guys do to celebrate birthdays, but it probably isn't good".

He's probably right. I don't see them digging up an ice cream cake and candles. Still though I was a little sad to see his big day come and go so very un-celebrated. But hey, we can celebrate when he's home again. He's not one to turn down a late birthday party or gifts. Perhaps we'll save the big celebration for next year, because after all, at 31, he's also 30, 29, 28, 27, 26 . . .

Here's to the July birthdays in the Andrews family!!! Happy birthday Anny and Daddy!!! Merrylee and I love you very much!

Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 30 or 4?

Of course- what a question!!!!!!

An American Day

2010-07-07T02:08:00.000-05:00

Our fourth of July was well celebrated. The pictures compose a much better 1000 word essay than I can write, so I'll keep my comments short. Great day, amazing friends, and wonderful memories made!

We miss you Daddy, but our friends are making sure our time is still filled with sun, laughter, and happiness. While you're not in any of these photos, you were definitely on our minds all day, as we celebrated this blessed country in which you're fighting to protect. Your sacrifice is more personal to us since we're part of it, but we're still grateful for what you do. It makes days like this possible.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

the sigh of the weary

2010-06-29T22:32:00.001-05:00

I find myself occasionally living days where I hum the chorus of the folk song Hard Times. You can find the full text here. The lyrics are sadly beautiful. It's a song I think all human beings at some point in their lives find they can relate to. Here's the chorus:

Tis the song, the sigh of the weary,
Hard Times, hard times, come again no more,
Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;
Oh hard times come again no more.

You can listen to an arrangement of this song in my playlist. My favorite version is sung acapella by Eclipse, but I don't know how to post that on my blog. Anyone who knows how to post a specific song not found on playlist.com, I'd love to hear your instruction!

I haven't had days filled with hunger. I've always had shelter, food, clothing, and my physical needs met, as most people fortunate enough to live in this country can say. I have however had my weary days. Everyone at some point I think experiences deep and thorough weariness, with no obvious or close end in sight. My Christian brothers and sisters however, know and have faith in happier times to come, because that's what faith in the Savior brings.

After watching this very moving video, I felt a little cheated. I wanted to know what happened to the family! What happened to that poor father, his wife and small children? Then I read more about the video, and realized Elder Holland is telling his own story. Obviously, he kept his faith and things worked out.

Have you ever wondered, if the "future you" could visit and give you advice, what it would be? I'd expect the future Liz would say the same things I'd say now, if I had the chance to advise the struggling seventeen-year-old I was 10 years ago.

"Hold to your faith. Believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ. He never will and cannot fail you, and your life, while not always perfect nor easy, is beautiful and happy. Hold to your faith. Your efforts are worth it."

Oh Deer!

2010-06-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

I was on the phone this morning, and heard Anny call out while eating her breakfast, "Mommy, there are animals in our yard!"

I replied with "Ok Anny".

Anny regularly "sees" whales and sharks everytime we drive over the bay bridge to Pensacola, so I didn't put much stock in her animal sighting in our backyard. Until I actually turned around and looked that is . . . .

Bye-bye Bambi, thanks for the visit, you made our morning very exciting!! Sting rays in the water, deer in our backyard, perhaps I should be watching for sharks and whales as we drive over the bay...

blue crayon day

2010-06-16T00:37:00.001-05:00

It's actually more of a blue crayon week than day.

A nice, bright, royal blue crayon got left in the car today, on the front passenger seat of our van. Add to this pretty mixture, the greenhouse effect of the Florida sunshine. No further description needed.

We dropped off Scott again at the airport for another deployment. The same now sadly familiar feelings of emotional pain shot through my body, as I tried and failed to contain the screaming tears, and tried yet failed to pretend I was strong, and ok with saying goodbye. Why do we try to pretend? Here's a few reasons I suppose:

1- it scares my little girls to see me sobbing
2- if I can somewhat contain my emotions, perhaps the girls wont fully realize what's going on. Innocence is bliss they say . . .
3. I don't want Scott to feel guilty for doing his job and fighting for his country. At least I think I don't.
4. It's not safe to drive with blurred vision
5. Pleading, "please don't leave me, please don't go, I love you, don't leave . . ." doesn't change the fact that he still has to

Forcing me to pull out of my own selfish wallowing, I received the news that a dear friend of mine had a tragedy in her family. My pain that has become as regular as Scott's deployment schedule, is minuscule compared to what she is and will be going through over the next few weeks and months.

So what next? I turn my pain into action. Comfort and love my friend - scrub melted blue crayon. Blue crayon does not totally come out. Heartache never completely washes away.

So what next? We keep scrubbing, and keep comforting and loving each other. A very wise woman told me on the phone today, "Virtually anything is possible if you don't have to do it alone."

Thank you to all my devoted family and friends, who are always there for me when blue crayon days come around. I love you and am so very grateful. Way more than a silly blog entry can describe . . .

The front passenger seat- after an hour of scrubbing, soaking up the excess wax with an iron and brown paper, and several different solvents and cleaners . . . and to think when I was little, the blue crayon was my favorite!

Bind my wandering heart to thee . . .

2010-06-03T14:17:00.002-05:00

Any of you who keep your speakers on while visiting my blog, may have noticed a change in my music playlist. Inspired by a friend, I decided to choose songs that convey sweet feelings of nostalgia, love, and simple pleasures. Peaceful tunes that inspire thought, or calm the heart. These songs all do that for me.

One tune in particular is special to me, and I have three different versions of it on my list, all instrumental. The American folk tune, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing, inspires and uplifts me every time I hear it. Here are the words to this classic and much loved Christian hymn written in 1757 by Robert Robinson, more recently arranged by Mack Wilberg for the Mormon Tabernacle Chior.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
"1. Come, Thou Fount of every blessing,
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing,
Call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it,
Mount of Thy redeeming love.

2. Here I raise my Ebenezer;
Hither by Thy help I’ve come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure,
Safely to arrive at home.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

3. Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Interposed His precious blood.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

4. O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above."

How often have I felt sad, lonely, tired from the scars of life, and prayed to my Heavenly Father to simply save me, heal me, have mercy on my imperfect life, and bring me back to him? Bind my wandering heart to thee . . .

We are all prone to wander, make mistakes, feel sorrow, and pain of our own making. I'm eternally grateful for the healing sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ. With his scars, we are healed. All he asks, is for us to come unto Him, and live like Him; follow his perfect example in every way that we can. When we fall short, as we all so often do, He is there waiting to pick us up, and help us try again. I hear this song, and am reminded of his amazing grace and love for me. It brings me inner peace, and encourages me to be a little more patient, kind, and enduring, to work harder, and give more of myself. I want my life to be worthy of the prayer in this song, "and I hope by, Thy good pleasure, safely to arrive at home."

Nursemaid Elbow - Common Courtesty Please

2010-05-28T20:24:00.001-05:00

No one feels better after a, "You didn't know that? I've always known that" comment. There are some things that if you're socially competent, or wish to be known as someone with class, you really shouldn't say. Along with the above mentioned, are phrases that begin with the following:

"I don't mean to be a jerk, but . . ."
"No offense, but . . ."
"I know I shouldn't say this, but . . ."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but . . ."
"I don't want to sound rude, but . . ."

You get the idea. Saying you don't want to look like a jerk doesn't make it alright to speak like one. So please, if you already knew about this, I don't want to hear it. I'm passing on a life experience I wish I had understood before, or read about on someone else's blog. It would have saved us some grief, and a late night trip to the E.R.

We all love playing with our kids. Tossing them up in the air, and hearing that squeal of delight and those sweet giggles keep us swinging and tossing until we've given ourselves a workout no expensive gym membership can top! Even then, those cute chubby faces are pleading, "again, more swinging? Please, up high?!"

Not easy to turn down- unless of course this innocent play ends in screams and tears. Such was the case last night, with our little Merrylee. We were holding her up high by the hands, and blowing raspberries on her tummy, when giggles turned to tears. Not all that unusual, tickling often is only tolerated for so long- accept this time a little snuggling wasn't making it better. Neither were fruit snacks, or other offers of treats. She just sat there, quietly fussing, and not moving her arm. We examined it for swelling, felt around for breaks, but didn't find anything unusual. She didn't like us moving it though, and wouldn't move it herself. We thought maybe a muscle was pulled, and hoped she'd start moving it again after a little while. As the evening progressed however, it didn't change, and we got more worried. She ate her supper, and played a little, but still wouldn't move that arm.

My experienced mother of 6 mother-in-law mentioned the term nursemaid elbow. You can read about it here.  She was visiting my sister-in-law, and we drove two hours to spend the evening with them. We got home pretty late, and put the girls to bed, hoping maybe after some rest Merrylee would wake up feeling better. It was too late to call her doctor, and I really didn't want to take her to the emergency room unless I really had to. It didn't appear to be broken, wasn't swollen, and she wasn't crying about it anymore.  As any parent who's experienced the late night E.R. trip knows, it's definitely something to avoid if possible. Lots of waiting, lots of germs, lots of hassle.

Merrylee, of course wouldn't sleep, thus increasing our worry.   I tried to look up her symptoms on the Internet, but found nothing conclusive or helpful. Then I tried looking up the term my mother-in-law gave me. Sure enough, she matched every symptom! It's basically a partially dislocated elbow, and a very common injury among toddlers and young children under 6. It's caused by pulling on the child's arm while it's fully extended. It can happen by something as innocent as Mom and Dad each holding a hand, and swinging the toddler over a curb or step. Don't tell me you've never done that with your child, because I wont believe you!

Symptoms include crying at the initial injury, and then the child refusing to use the arm, but more or less carrying on like normal, unless something forces him or her to move the arm. The article suggested to immediately go visit the doctor, or if after hours, visiting an emergency room. So that's what I did. Very fortunately, we were the only ones there. We went through Triage in record time, and saw a doctor right away. He gently popped her elbow back into place. It's hard to say if she was crying because it hurt, or because she doesn't like doctors. (She definitely doesn't like doctors, she cries even at Anny's appointments). However she immediately regained the use of her arm, and used it to push the doctor away with her little hand.  As we were walking back to the car, her tears were gone, and she was using the arm to point at the "twinkle, twinkle, little stars".

We got home around three a.m., and all went to bed and slept soundly. If you're gonna go to the ER, that's the way to do it! No wait, no blood, minimal drama, and immediate recovery. She's a happy baby again today, and we're grateful and a little wiser.  Learn from us and pass it on, so your only involvement with this common injury is what you've read here!

shadows in the water

2010-05-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

A family trip to the beach today (still no oil pollution yet, knock on wood!) brought a surprise- 100's of sting rays in the water! They were close enough to touch, just feet off the shore in waist deep water, if they held still, which of course they never did. I hear a stingray sting is painful, however watching them today made me wonder how anyone ever manages to get stung! Maybe they act differently in other parts of the gulf. As you can see from my photos, as soon as we got close enough to take a picture they'd swim away. If you're local or plan to visit and you're worried, avoiding these animals is easy. They only attack if they're startled, and none of the curious beach bums managed to get close enough to do that. However if you're still worried, to best prevent a sting, "shuffle" your feet in the water. Any possibly buried rays (we never saw them bury themselves, they just skidded along the top of the warm water) will feel the vibrations, and swim away quickly.

We truly live in an incredible and beautiful place!

This may be my last post . . .

2010-05-07T15:23:00.004-05:00

... of beautiful photos on our beautiful Gulf Coast beach. I feel guilty praying the oil slick heads west, but I selfishly would rather someone else's beach be destroyed than ours. Not that I have much choice in the matter anyway!

Special shoutout to my good friend, Vanessa, who took all these beautiful pictures! Check out her photography blog here: http://momentsbymurray.blogspot.com/ She's very talented!

It's a Love Story . . .

2010-04-29T00:03:00.002-05:00

One of my very best friends sent me a link to this You Tube video, and it made my day, on a day when it needed to be made. Reading that you'll think this is some inspirational or possibly spiritual video. Nope! While both are great, the medicine I needed this time was humor.

This week I feel exactly like the mom in the video does, in the "three years later" part of the song, only it's 5 years later for us. Same boat though. Enjoy, and pass on the link to another overwhelmed mom in desperate need of something to laugh at!

Five stars from this exhausted and emotional stay-at-home critic!

Can a photo display true happiness?

2010-04-06T23:23:00.003-05:00

yes, yes it can.

When in Rome...

2010-03-26T13:05:00.002-05:00

Merrylee and Daddy sharing a munchkin

Anny's "finished" pink frosted donut

When in Rome...

There are over 400 Dunkin Donuts in just the Boston area. Here we are doin' as the Romans do ...

Mommy's Baby

2010-03-04T12:56:00.003-06:00

Most friends look at Merrylee and exclaim,

"Wow, she looks so much like her Daddy!"

May I present the following evidence that she is indeed, my child too?

Mommy 1984

Merrylee 2010

half empty, or half full?

2010-02-19T11:55:00.008-06:00

HALF EMPTY

1. a 4 day visit from my parents and little brother turns to a 2 day visit, due more snow in VA and flight cancellations

2. the 2nd day of their visit, I get to experience my very first car crash (not my fault!)

3. my babies and brother were in the car at the time

4. there's almost $5000 of damage to my car

5. the state trooper writes me a ticket and puts a "point" on my license for not having proof of insurance with me (learn from my mistake, and go make sure that paper is in your car!!)

6. to dispute the ticket and drop the charges, I have to go to court to show my proof of insurance

7. Today, the day after my mom went home, all three of us came down with nasty colds, accompanied with fevers

8. Because we're sick, I have to cancel my babysitter and much anticipated spa night with a good friend, who's husband is also deployed

9. Do I even have to mention, this all happens while Scott is gone?!!

HALF FULL

1. despite all the snow and flight cancellations, my parents still manage to come down for a visit and I don't have to be alone for Valentines Day

2. my very first car accident happens with my parents there to walk me through every step, keep the girls happy, and me calm

3. no one was hurt, and the driver of the other car is a decent person who admitted fault

4. the other driver was fully insured, his insurance is covering all costs, and had us set up with a rental car right away

5. when the insurance agent called with a damage report, the damage is less than what our car was worth (in other words, our car wasn't totaled!)

6. my mother changed her return flight date so she could extend her visit, and help me cope with the stress of getting through an accident

7. We had a fun day being spoiled by Grandma, and went around Navarre pretending to be beach tourists. She bought us Navarre Beach t-shirts, sea shell Christmas ornaments, salt water taffy, and other tourist trap goodies, and we ate dinner at a restaurant on the beach

8. Today, the day after my mother went home, is a beautiful, sunny, 60 degree day, and I was surprised by a delivery of a dozen pink and red roses from Scott. The bouquet he sent for Valentines Day is still bright and beautiful too, and my mom left us her Valentines Day flowers from Dad, so our home is full of sweet, fragrant flowers, reminding me that I'm loved, blessed, watched over, and that although not always easy, life is indeed beautiful.

The prettiest hair takes longest to grow

2010-02-07T22:50:00.004-06:00

My mother has often said, "Every mother believes her child is beautiful. Some of them are right!"

Well, I both think my daughters are beautiful, and that I'm right! Anny has this soft, fine blond hair, that naturally does a sweet, curly little flip at the sides. It has been 3 1/2 years in the making, and recently has finally been due for a first haircut.

Here's our photo-documentation of this special day:

Before

I love the view of her little face in the mirror here!

And the finished product!

What, you can't tell a difference between the beginning and ending shots? That's because our stylist, Katie, is so talented. She preserved the little girl sweetness of Anny's hair, but still evened out the layers so it will lay better, and trimmed the back up a little, eliminating the baby mullet look she was starting to grow! Check out the photos I took of Anny's hair the next day, now that it's lighter, and laying how it should! This is how she now looks everyday, with as little care as running a comb through in the morning. Her natural curl and precious baby girl flip are back, and sweeter than ever!

Special thanks of course goes to our dear friend and awesome personal stylist, Katie Craig! If you're in the area and looking for someone fabulous to trust with your precious locks, she's your girl. She's been cutting and styling my hair for almost a year, and I'd never go to anyone else! I even trust my babies with her. If we're still in the area in the next 2-3 years, she can do Merrylee too!

Food for Thought

2010-01-27T23:42:00.006-06:00

One of the luxuries I allow myself while Scott is deployed (yup- again. He's on a regular home-again-gone-again schedule) is eating well, and eating well . . . wherever and whatever we want. I try to make it fun, for both myself and the girls. Scott's only been gone a week and a half, and already we've been to or ordered take out from:

Burger King

Wendy's

McDonalds

Whataburger

Thai Hut 2

Guglielmo's Italian Grill

and if we're feeling better from some yucky colds, tomorrow we'll add:

D'Won's Cajun Buffet

We've also bought various snack and treat items at the grocery store that include but are not limited to- Entenmann's Chocolate Doughnuts, Chex Mix, Garlic Bagel Chips, Valentines Day themed Little Debbie heart cakes, Pringles, dried pineapple pieces, apple chips, and Ghiradelli Dark Chocolates, the raspberry and mint-filled kinds.

I even vary the presentation of our meals, by eating on the family room floor, picnic style on a blanket and in front of the TV, or taking fast food to the playground, etc.

Tonight I tried to be a fun cool mom, and make a meal with just my girls in mind. I served corndogs, and made my own french fries- my own healthier version anyway. I cut up potatoes into french fry shapes, and baked them in the oven on a cookie sheet. I even bought a chocolate cake at the grocery store. You know- one of the little pretty ones that you usually admire, but never actually buy. Well, Scott's deployed, so we bought it.

I have to admit, I was proud of my fun, kid friendly meal. Merrylee, as usual appreciated my efforts, and happily filled her little 16 month old tummy. Anny, again as usual, was not so appreciative. Under threat of no cake, she took a couple courtesy bites from her corn dog, glanced at her fries, and reminded me she doesn't like potatoes. (yet she doesn't make that distinction for McDonald's fries) When I got out the camera to take pictures for Scott, she held her corn dog up to her mouth to make a cute convincing photo. I snuck out the camera when she was showing her true self however, and being defiant. Needless to say, she did not get any cake. Instead she had to watch Merrylee chirp with glee in her little baby voice, "keek! keek! keek!" as she devoured with both hands her slice of "Cookies and Cream Marble Cake with Buttercream Frosting". Unfortunately for me, the cake had more dairy in it than I expected, so the grocery store cake experience was a little disappointing. Speaking of disappointing, I gave up on Anny, and threw away a very full plate of food. She then found the nerve to call to me from her seat, "Thank you so much for that supper, Mom. I forgive you."

sigh . . . so glad I'm forgiven.

Merrylee, chowin' down her corn dog, corn-on-the cob style. Anny was the one who actually described it that way. "Look Mommy! Merrylee's eating it like corn on the cobb!"

Anny posing for Daddy's picture . . .

. . . and being herself.

Christmas 'aint the same without you . . .

2010-01-10T02:26:00.003-06:00

I admittedly had my doubts about this Christmas. We had plans for lots of guests and lots of driving, all right before Daddy leaves us for lots of time. I imagined myself being stressed, tired, uncomfortable, and heartsick (knowing Scott will be getting ready to leave soon after the holidays). However I was pleasantly surprised. While there were lots of guests and plenty of driving, with all of that came lots of fun, love, and good memories. We stayed up many late hours talking, watching movies, playing games, finishing last minute gifts, and bonding. I got to meet my new baby niece, new soon-to-be sister in law, and introduce everyone to our breathless beaches that some of them even dared to swim in. To those native Mainers, the water was actually quite nice. Us Floridians smiled and took pictures on the sand in our sweaters and jeans, while they splashed and laughed in their bathing suits, soaking up that green-blue water. Together all those memories created quite the Christmas to remember and love. Our home seems quiet and empty without all the extra family and guests. Here's a slideshow I put together illustrating just some of the great moments we had. If you think this is a lot of photos, you should see how many great shots I had to painstakingly choose from!

I dedicate this slideshow to Scott. There's no way any of these memories would have been sweet and wonderful to me if you weren't there every moment, helping me out around the house, and showing gratitude in every way you knew how. It wouldn't have been the same without you, and next year when you're scheduled to be away, "not the same" wont quite describe how empty our December will feel.

2010-01-10T02:24:00.002-06:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Aunt Liz!!!!

2009-12-17T12:06:00.006-06:00

Here's a list of my various titles:

Daughter
Granddaughter
Daughter-in-law
Sister
Sister-in-law
Niece
Cousin
Mother
Wife
Friend
and- drum roll please . . . . .
AUNT!!!!!!!

My sister-in-law, Kristy, had a baby girl last night!!!! Isabella Sophia. I surprised myself in how emotional and happy I felt with the news. Kristy and Cory kept us in suspense with the gender, making shopping a little frustrating, but the phone call about her arrival much more exciting!

Although it was a long day of shopping and the girls got to bed way past their bedtime, I was too excited to sleep. I stayed up 'till 3:30 in the morning making baby bows for my new, sweet, beautiful little niece. I don't have pictures of her to post, but I do have photos of the bows, and the quilt I made her a few months ago, hoping she'd be a girl. Kristy asked for a princess themed blue and pink quilt. I personalized it a bit by adding the ice skaters. Kristy was a talented figure skater, and when I saw that pretty blue fabric I knew it had to be for her baby (even though I wasn't sure it was a she yet)

I can't wait to see her wear those bows or to wrap her up in her new blanket! Note the "Made with Love by Aunt Liz" tag. (you can see it better if you click on the photo) I already love her so much!

Hurricanes

2009-11-21T13:16:00.005-06:00

Many of you probably heard about Hurricane Ida, not because it was dangerous but because it was the only hurricane to hit the US this year, so the news channels got a little excited. I'll admit even I had my nervous moments as the storm blew closer, and voluntary evacuation orders for our area went out. I double checked our 72 hour kits, and kept several storm watch internet windows open. Thankfully it came and went over our home as little more than a windy, stormy night. The next day skies were gray, the seas were a bit high, but the area was safe. We visited the beach and admired a view of unusually high, rough waves and cool strong winds. Staring out at the sea causes many to pause and ponder about life. In my gratitude this storm was mild, my thoughts of course turned to what I was most grateful for. There's a much read scripture in the Book of Mormon. It's in 3 Nephi 14, verses 24 and 25. They are words spoken by the Savior during his visit to the Americas, after his death and resurrection in Israel.

24 Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock—
25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock.

The "rock" of course represents the Savior and his gospel. My thoughts turned to what are protected in that "house upon a rock". Everything that is most precious to me is in my home. Thankfully they are also what I can bring with me should we need to evacuate- my family. By "house" the scripture isn't referring to a structure, but to our families, the most important thing we build, fortify, and love. Occasionally it takes a storm or even hurricane to remind us what is most precious. The rough rains and winds tear down worldly walls, and cause us to focus all our energy on protecting what is most dear. I'm grateful the strength our faith in the Savior and obedience to his laws brings to our family. In a way, I'm even grateful for hurricanes.

Here's a slideshow of family visits to the ocean, ending with our stop at the beach after Hurricane Ida. It may be difficult to see the difference in the photos, but the waves that day were very high for our usually mild, quiet beach on the gulf. We've seen days where the beachfront water is as smooth and clear as glass. Have that in your mind when you look at the rough waves in those later photos!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

There's a Right Way to Live and be Happy

2009-10-31T22:15:00.004-05:00

While I was home visiting my family, my little brother was writing an essay for an English course. The prompt for the essay was to write about one of the most important lessons he'd learned in his life. I heard him call out into the kitchen, "Hey Mom, what's the most important lesson I've ever learned?"

We laughed, and gave various silly suggestions such as "Wash your hands after going to the bathroom". Then my mom called back, "How about, there's a right way to live and be happy?"

My brother and I recognized those words as the first line to a children's song we learned at church, and chimed in together:

There's a right way to live and be happy,
it is choosing the right every day.
I am learning the teachings of Jesus
they will help me and show me the way

My mom smiled, but said, "I think that's the most important lesson Dad and I have ever taught you. There is a right way to live and be happy".

Everyone is searching for happiness. It is what even the most empty, cruel people on earth secretly want, but have forgotten what it's like, or even how to search. I believe there is not only one way to be happy that is right for everyone, but that knowing that right way is not enough.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I can personally testify that church is directed by God himself. It is his true church, and through it we all may have spiritual direction and guidance towards everything that is wonderful and happy. The gospel knowledge of that faith is beautiful, and true. I invite anyone who wants to know the right way to live and to find real happiness, to read The Book of Mormon, and decide for yourself through prayer if it is true. If you are seeking the truth with faith, you will love what you have found.

However knowing the truth about how to live will not be enough. With that truth comes living it everyday. I draw focus to this thought, because it is something that has been on my mind recently. I have seen people I love and care about, who share the same gospel truth I do, make bad decisions that fill their lives with trials and sorrow. They and others wonder, was there something different that could have been done? Could those roads taken been avoided? I think they can. "it is choosing the right everyday . . . "
Try choosing to read the scriptures for 15 minutes instead of catching the last 15 minutes of a television show, and then making that choice again the next day, and then the next. If you're a new parent, may I suggest raising your children so they don't have a memory of a night they didn't sit as a family, and read the word of God, or pray together. If your children are older, start now, and be consistent. Not sometimes, not occasionally, not when you get around to it. Occasionally will easily turn to infrequent, which will turn to never. A once spiritually dedicated family, will turn to one that is confused, weak, and failing. The family will begin to feel comfortable in a mediocre dedication to the gospel, which results in a casual attitude towards obedience. However a family that is consistent in it's daily gospel habits, is one that is consistently happy, and constantly knows what is right. Choose who you will serve every single day, not once in your life. It isn't just one way to be happy. It is the way. It sounds so basic and simple, almost ludicrous. Can 15 minutes a day of scripture study save a family? Is one little prayer everyday before school or work really going to make a difference? Try it for yourself. You wont be disappointed, and neither will your family. You will never look back on that time with regret.

A few things I love about Scott not being deployed

2009-10-18T17:32:00.005-05:00

If someone knows how to summarize in words all the combined emotions of having a deployed spouse home again, I'm impressed. I don't think I'm even going to try to describe how great it is. Either you already know, and would be reading what you've felt yourself, or you don't have to know, so why suffer through a sappy description? Instead I've made a little list of silly things that have surprised me in how un-silly they are to have again, now that my sweetheart is home. Just to be different, I'm listing 11. We all have a tendency to make lists of 10. Here's my attempt at being nonconformist.

1. Creaks and noises at night don't make me nervous anymore

2. There's someone else to answer the call of, "Mommy, there's poop on the rug!"

3. When we're driving as a family somewhere, I can safely turn to look at the girls, or grab things they dropped

4. I don't need my cellphone on me every waking moment

5. I don't feel the need to check my email every time I walk by the computer

6. It's rewarding again to make a nice meal for dinner

7. The question, "Which do you want to do, the supper dishes or bathe the girls?" is so much better than "Which should I do first . . .?"

8. When the sodas, cookies, candy, chips, etc. start to disappear, I know it's not because I ate them all myself

9. When I want hugs and kisses, I get them

10. Spiders and ugly bugs are a "Daddy" thing again

11. My house being filled with the confusing sounds of 3 simultaneous games of college football streaming in from internet radio, ESPN.com, and the tv doesn't bother me in the least

Welcome back, Scott. We missed you more than we can say . . .

Merrylee's First Birthday

2009-09-24T22:32:00.001-05:00

I've broken several of my "blogging rules".

#1. I wont post more pictures than would overwhelm the average viewier

We all have busy lives, and spending 20 minutes looking at photos of other people's kids doesn't usually make the top of a "to-do" list.

#2. I wont add a new post more often than every week or so

I want to give friends and family time to look at what I last posted before something new is up.

I guess all this time away from Scott has scrambled my brain a bit, because this is the 4th photo-slideshow I've posted . . . in 4 days. Honestly, Scott being gone is a major factor to my rule breaking. I'm posting them for him. If anyone else just happens to want to see the faces of my family over 100 times in 4 days, I've made it easy for you!

Last but certainly not least . . . Merrylee's First Birthday Photos!!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

We're thinking about planning a visit to the National Zoo before I head back home, so maybe I can sneak in one more slideshow . . . .

Another Slideshow

2009-09-24T21:52:00.000-05:00

And yet, this isn't the last one I'm going to post . . .

These are pictures from a 3 generation photo shoot we had today.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Virginia in the Fall

2009-09-23T13:19:00.000-05:00

For Merrylee's birthday we went to the Fall Festival at Cox Farms. It was a perfect day. We sure missed Daddy. He would have loved being there too. If you feel a little photoed out after my last slideshow, or think you may have something better to do than sit and watch 75 beautiful, fall-festive pictures slowly glide by, don't worry. I didn't make this for you.

More pictures to come of Merrylee's first cupcake, and opening her gifts.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

A Day at the National Aquarium in Baltimore

2009-09-20T20:15:00.000-05:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Finding Hope

2009-09-11T10:40:00.000-05:00

No one will forget this date 8 years ago. As we remember with prayerful respect and gratitude those who lost their lives, let us also remember those who survived. Let us be better friends, neighbors, brothers, sisters, daughters and sons. May we all remember what's important in life, and be grateful for what we did not lose that day.

For Daddy

2009-09-05T00:51:00.001-05:00

Scott asked me to post video of the girls he can watch while he's gone. Merrylee seems to be growing and changing the most, so this post is all about her. This is a lot of footage for someone other than a parent, grandparent, or possibly adoring aunt or uncle. I understand of course why it'd be hard to watch it all. It's all too easy to feel overwhelmed by all that sweet baby cuteness. We're around her all the time you see, so we can handle it. Don't feel bad if after a minute or two you feel inadequate to the task of finishing it. She is pretty cute. Not many people are used to so much concentrated sweetness. Just relax, and watch as much as you can handle. You can always take a break, come back and finish watching it later.

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

We miss you Daddy. This movie was made just for you, with love from all 3 of your girls.

You're Never Alone

2009-08-29T21:29:00.000-05:00

Usually I don't post more often than every week or so. I want to give my friends a chance to read my notes or messages before I've put up something new. This couldn't wait though. This little youtube video filled me to the brim with encouragement, and reminded me yet one more time that I'm not doing this alone. As soon as I watched it, I knew I had to pass it on.

I couldn't help but relate to how Sister Dalton talks about how she feels towards those on the sidelines cheering her on. She thinks, "they don't understand. I still have so much farther to go . . ."

I've had similar thoughts these past few weeks. However this video helped me realize while my friends and family may not understand, they still love me, and are on my side. They want me to succeed and be happy, and are cheering me on. Of course the one person who knows exactly what is in my heart and precisely what I'm going through, has been with me every single step of the way, and will be there until the very end. My gratitude goes to our Savior, Jesus Christ. I can feel him pushing me forward, even on days when I'm sure my strength has run out.

Music for the Soul

2009-08-26T21:53:00.000-05:00

A good friend posted this youtube video on her blog, and I've had a hard time resisting copying the idea. Ever feel a bit embarrassed at how much you like a silly, simple, trendy song? You can't help it, you just love it! Well, I love Taylor Swift's Love Story. In this video, Jon Schmidt, a popular pianst, has arranged it along with Coldplay's Viva La Vida, another song I enjoy. I've been put in my place by a more educated musician than myself (whom I know and love) with the not-so-subtle reminder that this isn't music at it's best, in fact it's composition is pretty simple. She's right of course. It's no Bach or Chopin. I don't care. I love this arrangement. I've listened to it close to 50 times now, and it still gives me goosebumps. Not to mention, Jon Schmidt and his friend on the cello look like they're having so much fun as they play! It makes just about everyone who ever took a piano class, wish they hadn't given it up, or still practiced. Enough of my mindless comments. Just watch it, and I dare you not to like it!

By the way, I'd like to dedicate this post to a few people:

1. Scott, love of my life, who I miss so much, and think of whenever I hear any song with the tiniest hint of romance- not excluding Disney and Barbie songs from Anny's movies
2. Emma, who first posted this video on her blog and introduced it to me
3. Anny, my three year old, who's just as crazy about Love Story aka Princess Song as I am, and knows every word
4. The accompanying orchestra, which isn't represented in the video, but none-the-less add so much to the music (in other words, violinists rule!)
4. Katie, my sister, who's pretty much Jon Schmidt's #1 fan. She drew a picture of him once, and spent about 3 hours on the shading of his upper lip. It's probably the best drawing she's ever done

It's the Climb

2009-08-20T17:57:00.000-05:00

Day 4 of my husband's deployment, and already I feel heartbroken, and miss him like crazy. Yesterday was especially difficult, because I had to spend our 5th anniversary without him. We're being watched over though. Friends and family have reached out, calling, writing emails and notes of comfort, and giving us strength.

I spent the day of our anniversary keeping busy, cleaning, and taking care of the girls. That evening, we celebrated together, and had a girls night at home. I bought takeout from my favorite Italian restaurant, and rented a Chick Flick. The Hannah Montana movie, actually. I never would have guessed that silly movie would give me advice I needed to hear. She sings a song called The Climb.

Here's the music video, if you've never heard the song

The sweet and simple theme of the song reminded me that to stay happy during this lonely time, I need to find joy in the journey. It's not about enduring a challenging time, eyes focused on when it's over, it's about being happy no matter what circumstances you're in. Little Miley caught that presice theme in her song. Never thought I'd be among one of the screaming Hannah fans, but last night, I cheered and danced right along with my little girls, and celebrated the best 5 years of my life.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Tender Mercies

2009-08-10T15:32:00.000-05:00

Last Saturday, instead of enjoying some much needed extra sleep, we left our house at 4 am, so we could be in Birmingham, AL by 10 am. Why, do you ask, would we load our two babies in the car, so early on a Saturday, and drive so far, to Birmingham? Because Scott is about to leave for his first deployment, and we really wanted a chance to visit the temple before he left. To quote President Hinckley, our former prophet and president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints,

"Every man or woman who goes to the temple in a spirit of sincerity and faith leaves the house of the Lord a better man or woman. There is need for constant improvement in all of our lives. There is need occasionally to leave the noise and the tumult of the world and step within the walls of a sacred house of God, there to feel His spirit in an environment of holiness and peace"
("Of Missions, Temples, and Stewardship," Ensign, Nov. 1995, 53

If anyone needed the blessings that come from visiting the temple, I did. I'm about to enter a new phase in my life, one that I've been dreading. In order to stay happy, I need to get used to my husband being gone. This isn't just his first deployment, it's the begining of a regular schedule, requiring him to be away 2 out of every 5 months, for the next few years. Never have I felt so much inward and emotional turmoil, stress and worry. How will I make it on my own? How will I handle feeling lonely? How do I not worry about what Scott is doing, or question if he's safe? Will we be safe while he's gone? Will I be strong enough to take care of the girls completely on my own, with no one to share the emotional and phsical burdens? How will our marriage survive the distance and time apart? How will we change? Will I be ok with those unavoidable changes, and will they be for the better?

When we entered the temple together, exhausted as we both were from the trip, all of those questions faded away, and I felt flooded with peace. While our temporal concerns didn't go away, I felt more capable of dealing with them. I am still worried, and am not happy for the day he has to leave. I know however, that we'll get through it. God is at the head of our family, and he will not leave us comfortless. I am now able to view the future with acceptance and hope, rather than fear and dread.

As if to prove he is there and mindful of us, Heavenly Father showed us several personal tender mercies through that visit.

1. Our great friends, Brent and Katie, watched our girls in the nearby church while Scott and I went in the temple. They kept them happy and comfortable while we were away. We couldn't have made that trip without them.
2. Both girls, who don't nap well outside of their own beds, slept for over an hour without trouble on the floor of the church nursery room.
3. In our rush to begin the long drive home, we accidently left Anny's Minnie Mouse doll at the church. That little Minnie is very special to her, and we were so sad to lose it. However to summarize an amazing string of events, we were able to contact Sister Rogers, a sweet and wonderful woman who teaches Sunday School to the 3 year olds in that building, who found Anny's Minnie, and mailed it back to us right away.

Heavenly Father is mindful of us. The blessings that come from the temple are not only eternal, but immediate and personal too.

one . . . two . . . three!

2009-07-31T00:55:00.000-05:00

I know this is a bit late in posting, but our baby Anny turned three!!! Here's 3 photos representing each of her 3 birthdays.

One . . . .

two . . .

three!!!!!!!!!!!

We love you Riannyn!! Our lives changed forever when you came into the world, and we're so much happier for it!

Our Caribbean Cruise

2009-07-08T18:48:00.001-05:00

Scott and I went on a fabulous 4 night Caribbean Cruise with Royal Caribbean cruiselines. Grandma Andrews and Aunt Olivia stayed with the girls at home so we could have an entire week to ourselves. Here's a slideshow of some of the prettier views from our ship and ashore. We left out of Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and made ports of call at the Florida Keys and Cozumel, Mexico. Everything was beautiful and perfect. We're happy to be back with our girls whom we missed very much, but are grateful to have such wonderful memories of just the two of us on this romantic vacation! (there's music with the slideshow, so turn off my music player if you want to hear it)

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Rockin' Out with Guitar Hero

2009-06-23T17:49:00.000-05:00

Anyone "in the know" about Guitar Hero, knows about Through the Fire and Flames. Try it if you've never played it before. It's the last song in the bonus section of GH3. You'll see. That song is crazy!!! Well, here's my crazy family rockin' out to that song. Even if you're not a Guitar Hero fan, you'll enjoy the video. I have the coolest husband. He loves nothing more than playing with his kids, and will do anything to make them laugh and get excited. The girls definitely loved this! Turn off my music player so you can hear the song.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Kids say the darndest things . . .

2009-06-07T17:15:00.000-05:00

We went to a baptism this past Saturday, and took the girls. On the program was this beautiful picture of the Savior and John the Baptist.

Scott, being the sweet father he is, took the opportunity to teach Anny a little about baptism. He decided to use the picture as a visual. He asked her if she knew what was going on in the picture. She nodded, and pointing to John the Baptist, said, "He's going to hit Jesus in the head".

Needless to say, she was corrected very quickly.

The only thing cuter than a cute baby . . . .

2009-05-25T01:35:00.001-05:00

. . . is a cute baby giggling! Turn off my music player for full effect!!!

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2009-05-16T15:18:00.001-05:00

Our little dancer

2009-05-12T12:25:00.000-05:00

We went to Virginia for my baby sister's wedding. Everything was perfect and beautiful, especially the bride! Anny never wanted to leave pretty Aunt Katie's side while she was in her beautiful white dress. Anny kept saying, "She's a princess!"

At the reception, Anny almost never left the dance floor! Here's some photos where she's dancing with her new Uncle Brenton, Uncle Peter, Grandpa, Aunt Katie, and my little cousin Corrigan. That's just a sampling of her many dance partners. She also danced with Mommy, Daddy, Grandma, Aunt Cindy, and many of the other family and friend guests at the reception. We had a great time, and Katie graciously shared the "belle of the ball" position with her spunky little blond niece.

2009-05-12T12:24:00.000-05:00

Little Rylee

2009-04-19T00:40:00.000-05:00

I love that we call Riannyn, Anny. I love nicknames. It sets those who know you apart from those who don't. They're sweet, and personal. Liz is short for Elizabeth of course. My Dad says you can make more nicknames out of Elizabeth than any other name. He called me by as many as he could think of. Betty, Liza, Beth, Bethy-sue, Eliza, Liz . . . Those who have known me for a really long time remember my "Lizzy" days. When I told Scott I could recognize friends who have known and loved me for years because they still call me Lizzy, he decided he too should be a part of that group. When he proposed, he said, "Lizzy, will you marry me?".

I wanted a nickname for Merrylee, but couldn't think of one. Thankfully I have a very creative sister (thank's Buggy), who immediately came up with one- Rylee. Like Anny is taken directly from the spelling of Riannyn (RiANNYn), Rylee is at the end of Merrylee (MerRYLEE). We held off calling her that for a little while so we could get used to her beautiful full name. (by the way, it's pronounced like the word "merrily", some of you still seem confused by that. My fault, the spelling is confusing . . .), We also waited because Anny couldn't pronounce her "l's" or "r's". Rylee to her was "Why-wee". Not quite so cute. However our brilliantly advanced eldest daughter can now pronounce her "l's" quite proficiently! So we're taking the leap, and are going to start using Merrylee's sweet nickname, Rylee. Feel free to use it too! Here's some sweet photos of the little darling herself.

2009-04-19T00:38:00.001-05:00

2009-04-15T13:21:00.000-05:00

He Lives

2009-04-15T12:50:00.001-05:00

As I post these sweet Easter photos of my family, I feel it only appropriate to include my testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ, whose resurrection is what we truly celebrate on Easter. I know Jesus Christ lives. He is the son of God, and our spirit brother. He lived a perfect life here on earth. He loved and blessed both those who loved him, and those who hated and betrayed him. He was baptized in the river Jordan. He cleansed the temple. He healed the sick, and even raised the dead. He taught lessons of forgiveness, and service, sacrifice and love. He suffered for the sins of the world in Gethsemane. He died on the cross. However the plans of our Heavenly Father cannot be frustrated. After the third day, the Savior's body and soul were reunited. He left the tomb, and walked, talked, and ate with those he loved. He conquered death, and because of this, we too will be resurrected after death. I love our Savior, and am so grateful for what he sacrificed and did for me. I will always try to follow his perfect example. I know that when I do I and my family are blessed.

My testimony is not complete without mentioning my knowledge of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. I can personally witness that Jesus Christ's church is on the earth again. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is that one true church. It is led by a modern day prophet, who answers to Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and directs this church as they would have it led. Part of this restored gospel is the Book of Mormon. It is a true and wonderful book, filled with further testimony of Jesus Christ. That book has brought me comfort, strength, and direction my entire life. Joseph Smith was God's chosen prophet to restore his church to the earth. Through the power of God Joseph Smith translated the Book of Mormon from golden plates. He then through the guidance of God organized this church.

I know these things are true not just because they were taught to me by those I love and trust, but because as they were taught to me, my heart felt full, and warm. I knew without a doubt that these things were true. Every bit of joy and happiness I have felt in my life come back to my knowledge of the Savior and his restored gospel. It is my deepest hope that my family I cherish and my friends and neighbors whom I love are blessed with and will live by the knowledge that I have. I end my testimony in the wonderful name of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Amen.

Lovebug

2009-04-02T20:23:00.000-05:00

There's just something about a WWII love story that pulls at my emotions. It was the era of innocence, family, big bands, and pretty dresses with matching high heels and lipstick. Then there were those heartbreaking goodbyes as brothers, husbands, and fathers left for the war, knowing full well that goodbye can be the last. This music video captures some of that in a sweet way. I like it. Maybe it's silly of me, but I tear up just a little every time I watch it.

Alternative to Spanking

2009-03-20T21:40:00.000-05:00

I received an email from a friend with this little story and photo. It's not about me, obviously, as I don't have a son. Some of you may have already seen it, but I thought it was worth posting. This is a well timed post for me, as Anny has been driving me crazy this week. She's definitely testing her limits. Here's to all you parents in the same boat as me right now, or have been there. If you can handle the suspense, read the email before you check out the photo.

Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.' One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot, too. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Sincerely,

Your Friend

Ode to Teenagers (the good ones)

2009-03-16T00:32:00.000-05:00

I will shamelessly admit I am a fan of High School Musical. While I confess I like cheesy storylines and pop music, I think I'm drawn to the movie for different reasons. It illustrates a high school experience completely different from my own, and that's a good thing.

There is no shortage of cute high school flicks, with generic geeky and popular clicks. Sometimes the popular group is mean, but still these movies don't capture what high school is really like. They leave out the constant flow of profanity in the hallways. What about the never ending waft of marijuana coming from the bathrooms? Occasionally a film or TV show will show the metal detectors at the doorways, but they don't illustrate the regular violent scenes that forced the school administration to install them. What I saw growing up, were little girls, ages 14, 15, and 16, wearing skimpy, tight, and revealing clothing. I wish I could forget the nauseating displays of much-too-public affection in every corner. Now add hormones, insecurity, low self esteem, and make the halls more than a bit overcrowded with awkward bodies. The supposed role models that were my teachers and administrators spent more time teaching about "personal expression", "free speech", and "self discovery" than history and literature. Books with high morals were taken out the school library for fear of "offending". Required reading often contained language and scenes most of the students couldn't legally view in movies without a fake ID. What about Prom night, when the kids are dressed up and supposedly displaying better behavior? The girls came dressed in trashy, too short gowns, showing off their much too young, not-quite-adult bodies. There weren't sweet and romantic slow songs. The kids were bored by those. They demanded from the DJ fast trashy tunes so they could try out the latest dirty dance move they saw on a rap music video. Not a recipe for positive growth, or "best time of your life" experiences. Some of you may think I'm describing some scary inner city school. I'm not. I'm describing what I and 2,000 other students saw everyday in the 3rd richest county in the United States. And that was what it looked like 10 years ago. I can only imagine what the high school experience has become now.

Yet still, amongst all the sleaze, there were and still are boys and girls who refuse to join in. They too are tempted to use profanity when they're frustrated, embarrassed, or angry. But they don't. They have the same awkward bodies as their peers, but keep them covered, and treat them with respect. The same powerful hormones pull them towards the opposite sex, but they keep their feelings in check enough to control their actions. Instead of making fun of others in an attempt look better, they avoid gossip, and encourage their friends to make good decisions. They don't know the taste of beer, and have no idea how much cigarettes cost. No one even invites them to parties with alcohol and drugs, and they're grateful for that. After school hours for these few are filled with practicing sports and musical instruments, volunteer work, service projects, and regular studying for classes. They don't know who they are any more than the other kids. But they know who they want to be, and they make their decisions accordingly. They are often lonely, and rarely respected or praised for this continuous battle they fight everyday. Their drive to live better comes from great faith in God, and their strength is fueled by loving parents and family. They are happy, and everyone can see it. If they are remembered in any way among their peers, it's how they were positive, uplifting, and cheerful.

Here's to those boys and girls who made it through those horrible 4 years unscathed. You may have felt lonely then, but you definitely weren't and are not alone. And to those still living the nightmare, stay true to your faith, and never forget who you really want to be after graduation. Because much to the disappointment of those who in some twisted way hope high school will last forever, it doesn't.

Chairs that Spin and Applesauce

2009-02-25T16:51:00.000-06:00

My best friend from highschool, Stacey, came to visit with her husband, Tait, and their two kids, Chase (3) and Izzy, (1). Anny and Chase are like 2 peas in a pod, and had so much fun. Here's where they discovered the joys of a spinny chair and a friend.

Our growing baby had her first taste of real food a few days ago. We gave her applesauce. It wasn't a big hit. We gave her sweet potatoes the next day, and she liked those a lot better. Here are some photos of the dissapointing applesauce.

It's a Love Story

2009-02-17T13:47:00.000-06:00

Our "Love Story" isn't unique, or heart wrenchingly dreamy. I suppose there is some romance to being married to an Air Force pilot, but no happy couple likes to be separated by hundreds of miles, no matter how patriotic the cause, and that's what pilots do. They fly away. However despite the heartache I know will come with Scott's first deployment, I can still say with all my heart it's worth it for the moments he's here. He really is my Romeo, knight in shining armor, and Prince Charming all in one. Not to mention he's very much a hero in our daughters' eyes. I love Taylor Swift's song Love Story, because despite its unrealistic lyrics of princes and princesses in love, it still reminds me of our own story. Probably because underneath all her pretty descriptions is a song about real, intoxicating, everlasting, butterflies-in-your-tummy love, and that's what we have.

Minnie Mouse Cuts In

2009-02-11T23:21:00.000-06:00

Merrylee was chattering away today in her swing, of course until I pulled out the video camera. Then she looked at me curiously, and silently. Anny was also curious about what I was doing, and brought a little friend with her to check it out.

Look Anny, snow!

2009-02-07T12:26:00.001-06:00

We drove to New Hampshire last week to attend the funeral for Scott's Uncle Carl. While it was a sad ocassion, it was nice to see so much family, and the girls got to experience that neat white stuff that comes with really cold temperatures! Merrylee didn't seem too impressed, but Anny, who sleeps with a stuffed snowman, was very excited. She's here with Grandma, and her Aunt Felicity. Grandma is holding "Snowman" Anny's stuffed friend.

An Eensy Weensy Story

2009-01-23T02:47:00.000-06:00

Thanks to all of you who read and commented on my first page of April Magic. It's on hold for now, while I try to figure out where I want the story to go. In the meantime I wrote a short little children's story, for fun. I haven't decided if it's just a good writing exercise, or something I want to refine and maybe send to a children's publisher, but I thought I'd at least post it here, and see if any of you like it! No title yet. If anyone has any cute suggestions for one, let me know!

He cast his many eyes up the dark tunnel that was his personal mountain to overcome. Reaching the end of that vertical tube of metal would open a world of opportunities to him. Food, glory, honor. He has no name, because spiders don't have names. They do however, have goals.

He wasn't a special spider. He was simply an ordinary brown spider, without special advantages like jumping, or a poisonous bite. He wasn't even large. In fact, he could even be described as eensy or weensy. Despite his insignificance, he dreamed big. His dream was to build a web to be proud of. From the corner of the gutter to the wooden siding of the big house, it would sparkle with dew from the morning sun. By mid afternoon it would be large and invisible to prey, promising an end to his hungry nights. Stunning even humans, they would pause to gaze at the glory of its geometric beauty, thinking it too perfect to destroy. He could already picture his almost living dream, there at the end of the tunnel. The tall, slippery, black tunnel that was the water spout.

Wayne sighed as he kicked his grass stained sneaker against a rock in the garden. His mood was as gray as the stormy clouds overhead. "Leonard" he mumbled, "Leonard the bully."

Scratching at the tears peeking out his eyes, he recalled the hurtful names Leonard screamed at him during the recess basketball game. Wayne had worked so hard, and practiced so long. Not long enough. He still stumbled over his feet, and missed crucial baskets. The other boys might have been more patient with him, if it weren't for Leonard. Leonard made laughing at him part of the game. Wayne gazed up at the basketball hoop above him. So high. So impossible. He'd never be good, and Leonard would never go away. It wasn't worth the effort to keep practicing. In frustration, he kicked his basketball across the yard. Running to go kick it again, he noticed a tiny spider by the foot of the ball. Lifting his foot to smash it, Wayne yelled, "I hate spiders! I hate basketball, and I hate Leonards!"

The spider scurried away, barely avoiding disaster that would come from Wayne's shoe. As he lifted his foot high to stomp again, the spider dodged into a crack in the cement. Eight legs flying, he made it to the water spout, and started his precarious assent. His goal and precious dream now combined with a desperate will to survive.

"NOOOOO!" screamed Wayne in frustration, "I hate you! I hate you Leonard! You wont win. I wont let you!!!"

Wayne ran around the side of the house for the garden hose. With a squeak from the pipes, he twisted it on so the water sprayed at full force.

Frantic were the spider's thoughts as he scrambled up the steep, dark tunnel. He had the will power to survive, and a dream to push him forward. He'd reach the top, and make his web, his web to be proud of. Even this hateful human boy wouldn't dare harm him then. Not when he saw his glittering, perfect, masterpiece. He could see something bright at the end of the darkness, and knew he was almost there. It was a shining source of hope, so very close. And then the water came. Great cold bursts of it, sending him crashing down the metal tunnel and swirling into a small pool at the base of the waterspout.

Standing over the tiny spider, hose in hand, was Wayne. Trembling in his shadow, the spider looked up, his many eyes giving him a dozen perspectives of this monster boy. Wayne glared back, seeing not the spider, but Leonard's mocking face. Just then a ray of sun peeked out of the clouds, filtered around the trees, and brought a soft yellow glow to the yard. Wayne could feel it warming his cheeks, and watched it reflect off the puddle at his feet. Relaxing his clenched fist that held the hose, he saw the little spider again. "You're not Leonard", Wayne whispered. Tossing the hose into the flower bed, he said under his breath, "You're me".

Slowly he bent down, picked up his ball, and turned back to his basketball hoop. The spider dashed to the safety of the shadows. He stared up the long, metal tunnel, a faint light sparkling at its end, and started climbing.

April Magic

2009-01-08T02:35:00.000-06:00

I've had the beginings of a story running around in my head for a few years, and I decided it's time I stop daydreaming about it, and actually write it down. It's still a draft, so don't be too critical, but if this were the first page of a book you picked up, would you keep reading? Let me know what you think!

April felt the book slide from her fingers as she started to nod off. It hit the floor with a soft thud. She glanced at Mindy, her roommate. Sound asleep. Good. Her fingertips tingled slightly as she willed the magic to bring the book back to her hand. It was the painting on the dust cover that brought this one to April's attention. Delicately poised by a flower, was a tiny fairy, glowing slightly. The creature seemed much too pretty to be real, which is exactly why April bought the book. So far the story hadn't disappointed her. It was filled with rich descriptions of a beautiful land, and fantastic creatures. The very words on the page seemed to sparkle, and April felt instantly transported into a place more exotic and wonderful than the dull college dormitory where she lived. Her clock read 2:15 AM. She needed to stop staying up so late reading. It's not as if she didn't have other things she should be studying. College professors seemed to take pleasure in assigning weeks worth of material to learn each night. April often wondered how her peers managed it. How did they absorb all that knowledge and keep up with the heavy workload? She refused to find out. Her father had warned her against this. "Don't become dependant on the magic," he had said. "It feels like an extra hand, and very easily becomes a second nature you're barely aware of. Where would I be though if I hadn't learned to do everything on my own, with out its aid?"
April let out a soft sigh. She knew he was right. It was much easier than she had thought, discovering her new gift. The magic wasn't at all like it was in her fantasy books. Those stories described something wild, and hard to master. Magic was something with a mind of it's own, that daring warlocks tried to control. To April, it was simply an extension of her self. She controlled it as easily as she controlled her own limbs. It was special, but not exactly mysterious. She probably hadn't discovered all it's posiblities yet, but so far it seemed pretty simple. When she wanted something she couldn't reach, it came. If she needed to absorb the knowledge of a book for a test, she picked up the book, and let the knowledge seep into her mind. She wasn't a computer, with every sentence locked in her memory. Learning the book felt more like watching a movie she hadn't seen in awhile. Just as the distant memory of the movie becomes clear again, the lessons from the book would come to the forefront of her mind. It wasn't that way with every book she touched. She controlled it. When she wanted to learn the contents of a book without reading it, she did.
"I'm not lazy," April told herself. "I just want to be able to choose for myself what I spend all my time thinking about. If I tried to actually read every word in those textbooks, I'd never have time for this," she thought, while tracing the wings of the pretty fairy on the cover with her finger. She had this amazing mysterious skill, yet nothing about her life seemed magical at all. It still showed no resemblance to the fairy tales she couldn't get enough of.

Thou shalt not steal cont.

2009-01-02T10:28:00.000-06:00

Many modern day leaders, particularly those in powerful government positions starting this new year, have written a new definition for stealing. They have reformed the commandment. It is now, "Thou shalt not steal, unless you or someone else is presented with difficult situations". It was tactfully done. They started with laws that required everyone to give a little out of their earnings to welfare programs that help the less fortunate. Most agree to this form of stealing. If everyone is donating, it's not really stealing, right? But that's not the current law anymore. The laws have evolved. Everyone does not donate. Only a few do. Only those who make more than a specified amount must donate. So "We the People" created laws, forcing not everyone, but just some, to give away their earned money to people who did not work for it. Stealing has been legalized. It's done in the name of sympathy, of course. No one enjoys watching others suffer. We all in some form or another have suffered hardship. We feel for those who suffer more. We want to help. After all, if we don't some people could starve. Others could suffer. A few may even die. So stealing is ok. It's ok as long as it reduces suffering. That's the idea being pushed anyway, and it's what today's children believe. During my discussion of A Single Shard with my fifth graders I presented them with a hypothetical dilemma. I said they had a loved one who was starving. When I asked if in that case they'd steal food, they all replied that they would. They all agreed there are conditions that make it ok.
I have to say I think Crane-man from A Single Shard would disagree with this new definition. "Stealing and begging, Crane-man often said, made a man no better than a dog". He would say we are teaching our children to live no better than dogs. We are teaching them that when the going gets tough, don't work harder, take from others. And if others wont give it to you, we'll make them. Who are those who have worked and earned enough for their food? They are the successful. Who are the ones we take from? Again, the successful. So we are teaching our children when life gets really hard, don't work to be successful, but rather take from the successful. We'll help you do it. Such a process does not build characters like those I read about in Linda Park's book. I like to think America was built on the shoulders of those who fought hardship. When their lives got difficult, they worked harder. They found ways to solve their problems. Sometimes they failed. But when the failed, they tried again. I'm sure they asked others for help. They didn't beg or demand it though. When requests for help were turned down, they kept working. They learned from their failures. They accomplished the impossible, and they became great. They taught their children to be great. Thanks to our revolutionary, sympathetic laws we are only coasting on that greatness, and through these new policies are teaching our children when they reach truly difficult challenges to stop working. They should stop working, bow their heads in defeat, hold out their empty hands, and expect them to be filled. Rather than work for dignity, sometimes, when life gets really hard, it's ok to stop being human. It's ok to be a dog.
I am fighting this new definition. My children will follow the original commandment. They will look at stealing as more shameful than digging through dirt and trash for their food. Instead of holding empty hands out to others and demanding help they will reach for the stars, and someday, I know they will grasp them.

Riannyn and Merrylee

2009-01-02T02:19:00.001-06:00

Thou shalt not steal

2009-01-01T14:33:00.000-06:00

I remember a discussion I had with some of my 5th grade students as a teacher. They were reading A Single Shard, by Linda Sue Park. The story takes place in a twelfth-century Korean village. The main character is Tree-ear, an orphan boy, living under a bridge with a crippled old man, Crane-man. Despite their extremely humbling circumstances, Crane-man proves to be a very loving and wise guardian to Tree-ear. Crane-man is not able to work or provide much for the orphan boy. However he teaches Tree-ear to survive by "foraging in the woods and rubbish heaps, and gathering fallen grain heads in the autumn." You and I would imagine these methods of finding food the lowest a human could stoop. The author suggests otherwise. Even lower than looking through the waste and discarded things of others, is stealing or begging. Searching the woods and sorting through trash is humble, but it is still working honorably for your meal. "Stealing and begging, Crane-man said, made a man no better than a dog. Work gives a man dignity, [and] stealing takes it away."
My students, just as you and I, immediately agreed that of course, stealing is wrong. In theory we all believe that. In theory. We understand working to save money for what we want is right. Stealing or begging is the easy way out, and it's wrong. It's taking something we didn't work for, and don't deserve. "Thou shalt not steal" is a very basic commandment we all understand and claim to have no problem with. However admitting stealing is wrong means working for our meals is the right course to take no matter how difficult, challenging, or humiliating that may be. Working for our bread is not always easy. However that is what makes the meal satisfying. Despite their challenges, Crane-man and Tree-ear were happy. They accepted help sometimes. Accepting help is ok. Forcing others to help you is not. The characters were true to their values. They never forced others to help them, and they never stopped working. They struggled, lived humbly to the extreme, and even suffered. Eventually Tree-ear grows old enough to find work, and better their situation. It is a story of hardship, perseverance, and greatness as a result of very hard, honest work.
I enjoyed this story so much because it told a story foreign to our modern practices. Today the common lesson is stealing is wrong most of the time. However if you're really hungry, or really tired, or your child is sick, it's forgiven. In fact we even teach that if your friends' children are hungry, or the man in the next town is sick, you can even steal for them. If the more fortunate are mean, stingy, and unwilling to donate or give charity, then it's our job to make them. Right? to be continued . . .