Thursday, November 29, 2012

How I can do it

"I don't know how you do it."

I hear that phrase so often when others hear how frequently my husband has to deploy.  They are being kind, and I know that.  Perhaps they are imagining me standing at the doorway, watching as he rolls his bags down the driveway to a taxi, or maybe they can picture too many tender goodbyes he's made to our kids.  They too may know something of loneliness, or the exhaustion that comes from doing things day after day, without help or relief.

How can I do this over and over?  How do I stay happy, raise babies, and keep our house a home, when I so often have to do it alone?  I can do it because of my faith.  I believe in Christ.  I believe that I am a daughter of God, who loves me, and I love Him.  I feel strength when I read the scriptures.  I feel peace when I read them to my children.

I love my husband.  I worry about his safety, and the idea that he may not make it home is ever present in my mind.  While I would never welcome that possibility, I do not fear it.  I know that I am not forgotten.  I know my life matters to God.  He loves my family, and he is there, watching, and helping us everyday.  When I pray about these things, I can feel it in my heart, with a strength I cannot question.

Every year I include a scripture that has special meaning to me in our Christmas card.  This year the choice was very easy.

John 16:33

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace.  In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

This year, as we face another holiday season apart, I will have moments of weakness, grief, and loneliness.  But I believe in Jesus Christ, and He overcame the world.  If he overcame the world, what are my small trials in comparison?  He has helped me, and still will, come what may.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

World's Cutest Baby Costume

We're mixing things up this year with our holidays.  We've already celebrated Thanksgiving and set up for Christmas, which makes now the perfect time to talk about Halloween (of course, also already celebrated).

I made the cutest costume for Benjamin for Halloween!  It helps making the world's cutest costume, when it goes on the world's cutest baby!

In case you haven't yet guessed, my husband, Ben, and I went for a Phineas and Ferb theme this year.  Our cute girls are old enough to choose their own costumes, so they didn't follow the theme.  My DH was Dr. Doofenshmirtz, (handsome version, of course)

I was the lovely Vanessa Doofenshmirtz,


And Benjamin was none other than Perry the Platypus- aka Agent P.



I did a little internet searching, and to my surprise you cannot buy Perry costumes made for babies or kids!  I searched high and low, and all I came up with were a few Perry hats and accessories.  One blog claimed Disney isn't currently allowing them to be sold.  Weird.  So I took matters into my own hands!  Want to know how to work my magic?  Well, it was pretty simple, but here's a quick "how to"-

How to make your own baby Perry the Platypus Costume

Step 1- the onesie.
I did a quick internet search for a teal green onesie with long sleeves, and found one with little effort.

Step 2 - the leg warmers
I ordered a pair of children's small gold colored soccer socks from Amazon, and cut out the bottom and most of the top of the feet, leaving just a baby sized flap for the top of Ben's feet.  Using my sewing machine, I pinched 3 little lines to make the webbed duck feet lines.

Step 3 - the tail
Using the bottoms of the socks I cut out, I sewed them together, then did some cris-cross quilting on the top for the Platypus tail.  Then I sewed the tail to the butt of the onesie.

Step 4 - the Fedora!
I found this one on Amazon.  There were several to choose from, this one was $15 plus shipping.  I added the little elastic so it wasn't quite as easy for Ben to yank it off.

I realize he is lacking in a Platypus bill, but there's no covering this cute face!!!

See, pretty simple, and practically self explanatory from the pictures.  Doesn't he look perfect?!!  Best Halloween we've had yet!  



Tail view





I took this when I was trying on my costume pieces,  still no hair or makeup yet.  It's the only photo that shows the boots though, so I had to add it, those are a Vanessa trademark!  


Shout out to our pretty Lady Vampire and Blond Belle.  Belle was going to be Rapunzel post haircut, pre hair turning brown, but she changed her mind last minute, hence enjoying the benefits of a well stocked Princess costume box!  


Monday, November 5, 2012

My Florida

My life in beautiful Florida has been bittersweet.  Mixed with crystal blue-green water and sparkling, powder white sand, are the tumultuous feelings of too many goodbyes for our family.  This is the place where we had to learn that being an eternal family doesn't mean you always get to be together.  

Are you tired of reading about the woes of deployments?  What a coincidence!  So am I.  Sadly being tired of something doesn't entitle me to a break.  There are many positives that come with military life.  Rest for the weary however, isn't among them.  The country needs fighters - strong soldiers and families who can do more with less.  With the current financial situation, they work longer hours with less sleep, travel further with shorter periods home, complete missions with smaller teams, and as families, stay together without actually being together very often.  Typically those who risk the most, and have the most dangerous jobs with the highest mortality rate, have some of the lowest salaries and are away the very longest.  I don't know why it has to be like that, but it is.  

Florida has taught me that physically, we do have to let go, and often.  However with patience and slow but steady growth, I've learned those goodbyes are temporary.  We are an eternal family, we made promises in one of God's holy temples, and were blessed that living up to those promises means the bonds of marriage and family will never break.  After all those goodbyes, I know, never doubting, that we will always be reunited.  He will always come home.  And if that worst of all fears happens, and the dearest cost of war touches our family, one day I will come home to him.  No goodbye is final, no separation permanent.  Sometimes the happiness we have together seems brief, but I know I'll have it again.

My mother warned me of possible perils of looking only towards homecomings, and forgetting to live in between.  She is wise and so I have tried to stay happy both when our family is all together and when it is not.  However any of you who have experienced something like this know, that while you continue on with your life, and keep smiling, moving, and living day by day, you're still secretly, acutely aware of that calendar.

If you find this difficult to understand, imagine going without something you love, and use everyday.  Take daily hot showers, for example.  For reasons you don't want, like, or completely understand, you have been told you will not be allowed to shower for a period of four months.  Imagine how that last week of showers before the moratorium begins will mean to you.  Imagine how you'd feel if you were interrupted during those last few showers, or for some reason had to shorten a few of them.  Then imagine that first morning where you crawled out of your warm bed into the chilly morning, and then couldn't go take one.  All day you'd try not to think about it, but you'd be keenly aware of your oily hair, a bit self conscious of your smell, and would probably feel like you were holding up a sign that said, "Yes, it's true, I didn't shower today!"

Now add time to our little example.  As time continues, a part of you would adjust to the change in daily habit.  However do you think there will ever be a day where you can completely forget that you haven't had a shower in days, weeks, or months?  Do you think you'd be able to avoid thinking about that first blissful moment when showers are a part of your life again?  Add to that the complication that you cannot shower or bathe your children either.  Everywhere you go you'd feel like "the stinky family", and in all your misery, you'd have the additional challenge of keeping your kids happy, despite reminding them they still can't play with rubber duckies.  You'd have to listen to them cry about how much they miss bubbles, and splashing warm water at the end of a long day.  How about all those clean people around you, who feel they should give you regular advice about how to not think about showers?  Some of them will even put on sympathetic faces, and oh-so-sweetly say that considering everything you've gone through, you really don't smell that bad.  And because you are a kind, polite person, you're supposed to show genuine gratitude towards those well scrubbed friends with all the advice.

I bet just reading that makes you want to go shower again today!  Me too.    

Oh my sweet, beautiful, Florida, how much I have learned, grown, and changed while strolling your shores!  I don't know how much longer we'll be together, and though not all of our memories are happy, I am at least grateful for the beauty, experience, and wisdom you have given me.  If I could pause time, where my babies are young and sweet, and my husband is home and we are all together, I'd choose that perfect moment to be here, with you!  

Sadly I cannot freeze time for us.  But of all the places to be both happy and sad, it's pretty easy to say this is the best one.  And while I cannot actually live that wonderful frozen moment, thanks to my talented friend, Kaycee, we can at least know what that moment would look like!  Looking at it isn't the same as living it, but it's close.


And to my constant and forever best friend, remember we'll always be at home waiting, loving, and smiling thinking of you, no matter how often you have to leave, or wherever you go.